Can't We All Just Disagree?

I guess the Glee writers are capable of getting it right once in a while.  That is to say, they can work movie homages into the show with some degree of organic storytelling and it was nice to finally see evidence of that with "Sue The Grinch." 

"A Very Glee Christmas" is just how I like my Glee - full to the brim with music, plenty of fluff with a heartwarming finish and very little "story."  I liked the songs and I loved the shamelessly Christmasy, sappiness.  I could have done without the Finn and Rachel breakup boringness but that's a fairly minor thing I was able to ignore as soon as the singing started. 

Apparently a lot of the internet thought this was one of the weakest episodes of the show yet but the internet and I often don't see eye to eye on these things.  I'm ok with that.  I'm a sucker for special holiday episodes and I don't really care who knows it. 

One Tree Hill skipped the Christmas ep and went for one of their patented "people might probably almost totally die, but not really" mid-season finales, sending the residents of our favorite fictional North Carolina 'burb a late-November hurricane and also a psychotic murderer.  Merry Christmas! 

Jamie took a dive in his spelling bee so that his little girlfriend could win then was driven home with Chuck and the girlfriend by Miss Lauren.  But it was like The Perfect Storm out so Miss Lauren's car turned over on the bridge - the one the limo went off after Hailey and Nathan's second wedding.  Luckily, Brooke and Julian had just been having a big fight about something ridiculous and she was driving to clear her head when she came upon them.  Chuck had a head injury and was losing consciousness.  Jamie and his girlfriend were ok but he was stuck in his seat belt and Miss Lauren was knocked unconscious.  By the time Chuck passed out Brooke had freed Lauren so Lauren took Chuck and Girlfriend to the hospital while Brooke stayed behind to try and cut Jamie out of the seat belt.  They kept showing a downed power line all ominous like so we'd think they were totally going to be electrocuted but then Julian arrived on the bridge just in time for some reckless-driving dickhead to hit the overturned car and send it careening into the river below. 

Julian jumped in after to try and save Jamie and Brooke - whose leg was now trapped under the steering wheel.  That's naturally when the levee broke and began to drown them.  Long story short?  Julian gets Jame out, then comes back for Brooke but doesn't free her before she stops breathing.  There's CPR for, like, 20 minutes and then she's fine.  By my count, that's 4 people on this show who've died and then come back in that exact same location.  Tree Hill should consider closing that bridge. 

Elsewhere, Nathan and Haley get a flat tire and Quinn is one again harassed and nearly killed by Dead Ringer.  Seriously, why didn't Quinn and Clay move after the shooting?  Never mind that she someone tried to murder them in that house, but it's 95% windows and 5% stairs - it's a completely impractical place to live when there is a psycho stalking you.  In the end, Quinn shoots Dead Ringer and leaves her to bleed out on the bedroom floor.  Fair's fair.

We never did find out how Chuck and Miss Lauren are - I guess if you're not important enough to get your face in the credit sequence, we aren't supposed to care if you lived or died. 

The internet and the critics who are prone to loving Life Unexpected held this week's episode in the highest esteem but I didn't much enjoy it.  Everyone in the episode was really fantastic except that I hate how selfish Lux is and how the writers don't seem to think that her behavior is selfish at all.  I'm not sure I have the energy to go into a long diatribe with examples of how everything she did during the episode was selfish but when this show ends for the season (forever) I believe I'll do a recap of the whole shebang and examine the many, many, many choices she made to care about herself more than anyone or anything else. 

Suffice to say, in this episode Tasha went to court to determine whether she was guilty of aggravated assault on Trey and we found out that the thing Lux kept not telling everyone was that Trey had molested and attempted to rape her when she was a kid.  We pretty much all saw that coming and I won't belittle that as a tragic, traumatizing and emotional event but I will say that because of the serious nature of all the other things that were happening in this episode - including the first sonogram of Ryan and Cate's baby, Tasha's fate, Lux's past, and the very way that the characters on the show have finally become one family - I found the inclusion of schmoopy Tiny Teacher love unseemly and gross.  And when he told her he loved her I wanted to punch him in his tiny face. 

Despite how often I complain about it, I really do like this show very much - I wouldn't stick with it if I didn't - but I can totally understand why it didn't find a large enough audience even by CW's standards.  People aren't going to like your protagonist just because you tell them they're supposed to, you have to make the person LIKABLE!  And if you can't do that (Dawson's Creek, One Tree Hill: The CMM Years) you can't rely on sap alone to win them over. 

Oh, Life Unexpected!  You had such potential but you just never could step far enough away to see your own flaws and pull it all together. 

Half A Week In Reviews

Lots to catch up on. 

Glee - Ugh!  It's getting harder and harder to enjoy the show as a whole.  The producers and writers have turned it into After School Special: The Bizarro Musical.  They're shoe-horning in heavy-handed ones to grow on right and left and turning the few genuinely likable characters they have into annoying, inconsistent pains in the ass in the process. 

I dug the musical numbers, as usual, but further insistence that Puck is a bad-ass was unbearable and the bullying message was even worse.  The entire season last year dealt with bullying as a matter of course and I can understand if they want to step it up a bit in the wake of the recent gay-targeted bullying incidents, but the seriousness of the topic is all the more reason why it should be addressed with subtlety and not the way that the preachy, ham-fisted writers of this show chose.  It did a disservice to the topic, to Kurt, to the cute new boy and to the closeted meat-head bully.  Worst of all, it was less than entertaining.  Next week, I think I'll fast forward through the "story" and just watch the singing. 

One Tree Hill - To be honest with you, the stories this season are pretty boring but James Lafferty is getting a considerable amount of screen time and in case you haven't gathered from the other million times I mentioned it: I am in love with his shoulders.  Sweet Jesus, you put those things in a suit and the angles sing.  True story! 

Life Unexpected - Well, last week, about an hour after the show aired in my time zone, The CW announced that it would not order additional episodes for this season which means that the 13 episodes already purchased will very likely be the last produced.  It is a shame because on the whole I like the show but I also understand why others have found it difficult to enjoy because Lux is awful.  She's selfish, whiny, immature, petulant and a truly terrible friend.  She continues to "date" Tiny Teacher, even though the two of them agree that they need to never see each other again at least once every episode, and this week she really treated Tasha like shit. 

First, Lux uses Tasha's apartment to hook up with Tiny Teacher, thereby using her best friend and displacing her from her home to do something she knows that Tasha disapproves of and putting Tasha in the very difficult position of having to lie about it to everyone they know.  Then, Tiny Teacher takes Lux out of town on a date where he loses his wallet and misses the ferry home so the two of them have to get a hotel room which he can't pay for so Lux basically orders Tasha to pay for with the credit card Cate gave her for emergencies.  The credit card that is LINKED to Cate's account.  Lux says that when they get home Tiny Teacher will move the charge on to his account which nearly made my head explode because that's not how credit card charges work and if HE doesn't know that, then he's too stupid to teach!  Anyway, Cate naturally finds out and then Tasha takes the blame all on herself and Lux barely even says thank you!  As if she hadn't already proven herself to be the worst friend in the history of the world, she then uses Tasha's apartment to hook up with Teeny Teach AGAIN!  I hate that girl, I really do. 

In news of things that don't suck about the show - the marital problems between Cate and Ryan persist and their therapist recommends a they separate to give each other space while they work on it.  Ryan moves in with Baze which is effing awesome since I'm actually advocating for an entirely new show where Cate and Lux move away and Baze and Ryan become Tasha's foster parents.  And obviously Jones would stick around as her boyfriend.  It'd be like a My Two Dads reboot, but way better.  Also, Emma has a son who was raised by a boarding school and then a rehab facility until his dad dropped the teenager off on her doorstep this week.  Oh, and she and Baze mentioned that they are "falling" for each other. 

The Good Wife - Michael J. Fox is awesome and I always forget until I see him, how much I miss seeing him on my TV.  But what's really important to talk about is that we're being given just the smallest crumbs of information each week about how shady Blake (formerly known as Jason Street) is.  It's pretty clear that he beat up that therapist and is purposely trying to "out" Kalinda, though I don't know who would care about that.  What's really worrying me is his connection to Will.  I really don't want Will to be shady...or mixed up in something shady...basically I don't want there to be any reason for me to stop loving Will.  Other important things of note, Lilly Taylor is amazing and I adore Carey.  More screen time for Carey, please! 

Friday Night Lights - Oh my God, you guys.  Julie slept with her married TA who should have a) known better and b) really NOT.  At first glance she seems to be handling that bad idea ok but I sense a complete emotional breakdown coming.  Tami is trying to teach that red-headed Rally Ho why it is not cool to drink yourself unconscious and let boys do whatever the hell they want with you.  Essentially, Tami is trying to change Rally Ho's destiny from "prostitute" to "person with an ounce of sense."  It is an up-hill battle, let me tell you!  In her spare time, Tami gets Jess a job as the Lions' new equipment manager despite her husband's misgivings about having a girl in the locker room (about which I do not disagree with him). 

Coach, meanwhile, is working extra hard at his job of turning boys into men.  After the video of Rally Ho's drunken exploits at a party attended by several Lions whose faces clearly appear on said video, Coach lays down some rules.  It's jackets and ties on game days and regular community outreach as well as a lecture about standards of behavior and striving to be better than everyone else.  He even has to kick two particularly stupid boys of the team.  Unfortunately this all goes down the same week that Vince's father is paroled from prison and moves back in with his family, trying to act like the dad he never was.  Vince ain't having it and it's causing him to act out in some other ways as well.  That leads to a particularly powerful scene between Coach and Vince where Vince breaks down in anger about how his father failed to teach him how to be a man and Coach does exactly that with few words said with respect and love. 

Buddy has opened a Buddy's Bar & Grill which is in East Dillon and is the new headquarters for all the rallies and victory parties and general football pride that keeps Buddy's heart pumping.  But in the midst of that that joy over his involvement in the sport he loves, he finds out from Pam that Buddy Jr. is acting out and smoking pot and being a general discipline problem.  So he gets Pam to send the boy back home to Dillon to get some fatherly influences back in his life.  It might sound crazy but I think that's a good call - Buddy might be a bit of a dip shit, but he's capable of being a good man when it counts. 

And, if that's what you're in it for, you might like to know that the Lions won their second game of the season.  Sweet Pete on a platter I'm going to miss this show when it's gone. 

Hellcats - I sort of love this show but they are doing their level best to make me change my mind by forcing this Dan/Marti relationship that is interfering with the awesomeness of Dan.  It's not just because I love Savannah, though I do LOVE Savannah, it's mostly because I think Dan has always been a level-headed, stand-up guy who goes out of his way not to fuck with people's feelings and now all of a sudden he's making out with someone who isn't his girlfriend and implying that he's totally willing to dump his girlfriend if Marti wants to start something up but then going back to his girlfriend like nothing ever happened and acting weird around them both.  Dan was well on his way to being the Pacey Witter of 2010 but after last night, he seems more like Charlie Todd (I'm almost a little ashamed I was able to pull that character name out of my ass.  Almost) and I just won't stand for a transformation like that! 

High Fives, Stay-cations, Property Destruction And Josh Charles In A Tux

Don't you just love Tuesdays? 

It was Halloween on One Tree Hill last night and, as usual, the denizens of Tree Hill went all out.  There was a party at Tric (natch) that required costumes for everyone and the people who didn't hit up Tric made the trick-or-treat rounds so they had costumes too.  All those excuses for costumes made the ep a little light on plot but it was kind of fun to watch. 

Julian's mom popped in to annoy visit.  She offered to pay for the wedding but made it pretty clear to Brooke that she hates all of Brooke's ideas and plans and if she's footing the bill, they're going to do things her way.  Then she dressed up as Cruella DeVille and dressed her adult son up as a dalmatian.  That left Brooke to execute a sad "couples" costume alone - she had envisioned them going as A Clockwork Orange where he wore a big clock and she dressed like an orange.  It would not have made any sense at all even if it had happened but instead, she was just dressed as a really cute orange. 

Haley continued to work at the crisis hotline and talk to the depressed person with the cute accent.  She attended the party as herself circa senior year in high school, a.k.a a pregnant cheerleader.  At the party she spent most of the time being afraid of clowns and then heard Laura Izibor sing "Can't Be Love" and was all set to offer her a record deal or something and then Laura spoke to her in the same cute accent that the depressed girl has so now we know that depressed girl is a crazy-good singer and is very pretty. 

Nathan took Jamie and his hateful friend Chuck and some random little girl trick-or-treating.  The kids were dressed like Harry, Ron and Hermoine respectively from the Harry Potter books.  There was a scary house and Chuck got snatched but it was a prank.  No one cares.  After trick-or-treating they went home to be babysat by poor Junk who got no lines and just slept on the couch while the little monsters drew on his face.  Then Nathan headed to the party at Tric dressed as a Mad Men-type gent.  He looked so good. 

Also at the party, Mia dressed as an extremely boobalicious mermaid, Millie as Lady Gaga, and Mouth as The Situation, complete with plastic abs.  At some point Mouth and Chase get Nathan to high five Julian who is a truly hilarious moment that can not be accurately described here.  

Quinn and Clay don't attend the party and stay home and hand out candy instead.  Quinn is having a hard time moving on from the shooting.  She's having a lot of nightmares and is keeping a secret gun.  She dresses as Super Quinn which is her, with a cape on.  Clay dresses as a vampire.  That freaks Quinn out.  Clay finds the gun and convinces her to take a freelance photo assignment in another country as a way to deal with things.  

There was more story, but less fun on Life Unexpected.  After two really good episodes in a row, this one was a little blah.  Lux continued to flirt with Tiny Teacher and also be a raving bitch to him.  He continued to like her inappropriately and resist getting completely out of her life.  He forces tutoring on her while also sleeping with Paige in the loft where Lux is staying and where the walls are made of shower curtains.  Not only is that inappropriate, but it's also pretty gross and deeply awkward for them and the viewers.  He tells her that he HAS to keep tutoring her because that's the only way it's appropriate for them to be together and for him to lust after her.  Um...no!  He figures out that she has a learning disability then promptly dumps Paige and arranges for someone else to tutor Lux.  After last week when I was all relieved that someone finally squashed a student/teacher affair before it got out of control, and then this week it was once again un-squashed, I'm not falling for it again.  Well, also because I saw the previews for next week when the two are making out again.  Ugh.

In other news, Julia is Ryan's ex whom he slept with after finding out that Cate had sex with Baze.  The day before the wedding she told him she might be pregnant and then at the wedding she showed up to say she wasn't.  We all know she totally was and we've just got to wait for that to come back around either when she's going into labor or the kid has already been born.  It's a little funny to think of a family that consists of a man, a woman and their respective illegitimate bastards.  Aw! 

Oh yeah, and all of that comes out when Cate and Ryan are on their stay-cation at a new hotel where Baze just happens to be attending the company retreat in an attempt to hook up with Emma.  Emma brings a gay fake-boyfriend with her.  She says it's so that she doesn't feel like the pathetic single girl but really it's to try and make Jack jealous.  Instead it makes Baze jealous until he sees the fake boyfriend kiss another man.  The fake boyfriend, by the way, is played by the actor who once played Jack's closeted frat brother who totally wanted to get into Jack's pants on Dawson's Creek.  So he's pretty used to being a fake-straight gay guy around Kerr Smith is all I'm saying. 

Anyway, Baze accidentally tells Ryan about how Cate would have totally left Ryan at the alter if only Baze had had the balls to admit he loved her the night before the nuptials.  Then Baze and Emma make out.  Then Cate and Ryan have another fight and maybe breakup again.  Cate and Baze bond a little but that goes nowhere.  Cate and Lux bond a little.  Cate is sad. 

Next week all the adults on the show chaperon a school camping trip that leads to Lux and Tiny Teacher making out in a lake and getting caught by Tashia.  I hope it also includes Tashia getting some action of her one from Jones! 

In the spirit of saving the best for last, let's now turn our attention to The Good Wife.  Holy shit on a Triscuit, you guys, The Good Wife is so juicy! 

Someone has leaked the fact that Alicia deposed Childs so now Carey is in charge of the investigation into who it was and he's deposing Alicia while Will acts as her council.  Eli also wants to know who let that cat out of the bag and when he realizes it's bad for both Peter and Childs, he figures out that it was Justice Adler who wants to run against them both. 

Peter and Childs join forces to dig up dirty laundry on the crooked judge and then they get Diane to tell her not to run or her shit will be aired in public. 

Meanwhile, Alicia is defending a DJ in a civil suit where he's being sued for contributing to the death of some high rave-goers during a stampede.  That annoying blond country bumpkin lawyer from last season is her co-council as she's representing the security firm who is also being sued.  They lose the case but Alicia's client is ordered to pay $2 and Bumpkin's client is ordered to pay $2,999,998. 

There's some fancy-dress shindig that the partners are attending and when they end up with two extra seats at their table, they invite Alicia to bring Peter because it's somehow beneficial to them to have a disgraced politician in their midst.  Also because Will is bringing a date and Diane is pissed at him and trying to make things as awkward as possible for him and what better way than inviting the object of his affection and her husband to come sit next to him and his date? 

At the party, Judge Crooked announces that the bitchy lawyer from Childs's deposition is actually the person running against Childs and Peter.  That was an awesomely dropped bomb!  I almost didn't care about any of it because Josh Charles was wearing a tux and flirting with his date, Elizabeth Reaser.  His natural hotness is amplified exponentially when dressed in a tux and flirting.  I can't comprehend how Alicia didn't take one look at him and dive across the table to rip his clothes off and kiss him passionately. 

And finally, Kalinda continued her investigation of her new arch nemesis, Jason Street.  She busted all the windows in his rental car, poked through his papers, kissed his rear view mirror and was generally bad-ass.  Then the two had an encounter in a parking garage where they stood really close to each other and verbally sparred with each other while she fondled his junk. 

A.  Ma.  Zing!

Tuesdays are exhausting.

For the first time this season, I really and truly LOVED last night's Glee.  It was ridiculous and funny and insane in all of the ways the show is when it's at its very best.  Of course I cringed when Finn and Rachel sang "With You I'm Born Again" dressed like a minxy little nun-in-training and a priest, but that's what made it so hilarious.  In the end, I think it's a damn good thing that the Rachel/Kurt duet wasn't in the running for the Breadstix gift certificate because that shit would have won in a landslide!  It was about 50 kinds of awesome and I've already re-watched it 6 times today on Hulu (and the original Barbra Streisand/Judy Garland version 3 times). 

One Tree Hill got back to some of it's fun basics when it left the drama cranked up to 11 but also brought back some of the wackiness that makes me love it.  Jamie isn't wrong, Nathan does avoid things, but so long as he keeps owning shoulders that beautiful, he can do any damn thing he wants and I won't argue with it.  I'm glad that Clay is out of the hospital and I'm hoping that part of his healing process involves some time in the sun because that man needs a tan in the worst way.  And I say that as the palest person you've probably ever met.  Brooke was mostly mopey this week but I'm cutting her slack because liquidating your company and divesting yourself of all of your money and possessions is tough enough but being called stupid by the mother who got you into the mess in the first place is likely to make anyone pout.  On the plus side, she shared several scenes with her FRIENDS which sometimes this show forgets to have and also, her hair looked AMAZING at her press conference. 

Speaking of press conferences, kudos to Nate for finding a way to make his "I quit" press conference benefit Mouth.  Our former teenage asshole has turned into quite the classy fellow. 

And finally, in news I suspect no one cares about, Alex is leaving town for a movie and Chase is peeved because she didn't tell him so he broke up with her.  Before that happened, though, Haley booked a concert gig for Mia in Portland to get her out of town and away from her creepy Alex/Chase obsession. 

Oh hey, speaking of a concert in Portland, it just so happens that the radio station that Cate and Ryan work at over on Life Unexpected is hosting a concert - in Portland!  For the first time since those two kids tied the knot, this is an excuse for all of the characters to be in the same place at the same time and they make the most of it. 

The show was firing on all cylinders last night and was a joy to watch.  Cate lied to Ryan about trying to get pregnant.  Baze and Lux both found out that Cate and Ryan were trying (but not really) to get pregnant and both kind of flipped.  Cate and her mom got into a big fight about Cate lying and about being bad mothers and stuff.  Then Ryan found out Cate was lying and they got into a big fight. 

Cate bonded with Haley over

teen pregnancy and baby daddies named Nate.  And then Haley sang something. 

Tasha continued her now two week trend of being likable when she good-naturedly teased Baze about being unable to date anyone who isn't Cate-adjacent because he's still hung up on her and also ribbed Lux about her love life thinking it was about Bug because she doesn't know Lux is hot for her tiny teacher.  The three of them make a pact to all bring a date to the concert.  Baze asks out a file clerk from the office (desperate much?) but then Emma orders him to bring her so she can hard-sell Haley.  Lux asks Tiny Teacher but he's already got a date and also HE'S A TEACHER so instead of bringing a date she has Paige slut her up so she can run into Tiny Teacher and make him jealous.  Good plan except Tiny Teacher's date is Paige who totally looks more comfortable in her sluttiness and is also an actual slut so Lux is SOL.   

Tasha asked Jones to come but it was only because she thought Lux liked him and would never ask herself.  Sweet right?  Well, apparently Jones didn't think I loved

him enough already so, instead of merely being adorable, he is now deeply awesome as well.  He takes being ignored by Lux in stride and spends all his time enjoying Tasha's company then he tells her that she's fun and pretty and he agreed to come with her because he wanted to come WITH HER and then they kiss and Ben Lee sings three songs.  Yay! 

I expected to be really upset by that but since Lux totally doesn't deserve him and Tasha is suddenly likable, I'm in favor of this development.  You know who isn't though?  Lux.  She sees them kissing and flips her lid.  The two of them have a fight during which Tasha tells Lux that she can quit her whiny complaining about Cate, Baze, Ryan and Jones any fucking second because they're all awesome and Tasha loves them and Lux can take her selfish ass to HELL!  Well, I may have paraphrased but that was the upshot. 

Cate and her mom make up.  Cate and Lux make up.  Cate and Ryan make up.  Baze and Emma develop sparks (right after she totally hinted that she spent four or more years of her life having an affair with his dad!).  Cate and Baze make up.  Lux and Tasha make up.  Everyone is happy. 

Next week we finally see the skeleton in Ryan's closet (because he needed so bad to be a little less perfect) and find out who the hell Julia is.  

Apropos of Nothing

While gathering pictures at CWTV.com for my earlier post, I found this one and just thought I'd mention that it's a REALLY attractive photo of Kerr Smith. 

That is all.

Fall TV - Tuesday: I'm way behind already

I haven't had a chance yet to watch either iteration of NCIS or Detroit 1-8-7.  I probably should have gotten more accomplished TV-wise last night but I spent too much time on the phone chatting.  I'm going to television-addict hell. 

The new season of Glee kicked off on a pretty great note last night.  The musical numbers were great, Sue was mean, Schue was annoying, Mike Chang took his shirt off and the newbies seem pretty interesting.  I'm sad that we got one quick line about Matt transferring and then moved on like no one will mis Dijon Tilton.  He deserved better.  But Mike Chang finally gets some long-overdue attention and Sue finally has a worthy adversary in Coach Beiste.  Plus, someone finally asked Schue to stop rapping! 

Sunshine came and went - having blown the clubbers away after being hazed by a jealous Rachel, Vocal Adrenaline's new coach convinced her to transfer. 

Now we know that our new addition to the glee club will have to be Sam (played by the brilliantly named Chord Overstreet), the talented, probably gay, new kid who was made QB by Beiste after she kicked Finn off the team for daring to help Artie try out.  Poor, stupid Finn. 

Next week: Brittany is Britney, and Britney is Madonna. 

One Tree Hill did its very best to make me cancel my season pass by making me think that Clay was going to die while Quinn lived.  Let me be clear, I love Nathan and Julian, and even Mouth, but this show is chick heavy as it is so if they kill off Clay, I'm out. 

I'm not going to talk about the plot because I'm still kind of angry that they tricked me into crying, but I will say that I loved Jamie giving Mia and Chase the brush-off and then hanging with Julian for the rest of the day.  Austin Nichols is so cute and he has terrific chemistry with Jackson Brundage. 

One final note - James Lafferty's broad shoulders are a gift from God.  Where are THOSE pictures, CW internet photo helper-monkeys?  

I rather enjoyed this episode of Life Unexpected and have very few over-critical complaints about it.  I mean, except for how much I don't really like the arc that involves Lux trying to date her teacher. 

I'm glad they've finally given Math some people skills and stopped making every second he's on screen a study in cringing.  I wish they'd had Cate take the 2am-6am show rather than the producing job on Ryan's show, but I suppose it'd be fairly tough to write scenes with Lux, Cate and Ryan together if the only hours the three of them are awake and home are 5pm-9pm. 

I'm TOTALLY digging Emma Caufield's return to my television screen.  Words can't express how much I loved her as Anya on Buffy The Vampire Slayer and I already really like her as Baze's new hard-ass boss, Emma.  And it's kind of great that Baze has gone and gotten himself a "real" job.  It should be interesting to see him not be a total fuck up for a change.  We've seen hints all along that he is a perfectly smart guy, so I'm anxious to see him BE smart and succeed at something. 

Next week: golf, accidental sister screwing and Jones!  Yay! 

Too Much Tuesday

That's what I'm going to need to start calling it if the CW's Tuesday line-up continues the way it started this week. 


One Tree Hill picked up a short time after where it left off last season.  Haley is pregnant and Brooke and Julian are engaged and Chase is going to go on a date with Girl Alex even though Mia has re-thought the via-text breakup and texted a plea to get back together.  Oh yeah, and remember how Quinn and Clay were shot but Crazy Dead Ringer?  Well, maybe...maybe not. 


Julian is all "lets keep having sex until I have no sperm left and see if that doesn't improve our chances of having a baby even though you're reportedly infertile."  And he's good looking so Brooke sees nothing wrong with that plan.  And then they start talking about the wedding and it turns out Julian is a 9-year-old girl who wants a Grease II-themed wedding.  When the chafing has gotten bad enough, the two stop humping long enough for Julian to start looking for his next movie and Brooke to get arrested for defrauding investors by misrepresenting the profitability of COB. 

Turns out Victoria wanted money to start the men's line so she lied and then even though they only just put Millie back in a managerial role about 15 minutes before the end of last season, she apparently knew and went along with the plan and now the whole company is being seized by the government.  Welcome back to season 2, Brooke is poor. 

You know who isn't poor?  NBA star Nathan Scott and his musician/producer wife Haley.  So they spend the episode debating whether or not Haley and Jamie should go to Charlotte with Nate for the season.  They also spend the episode trying and failing pretty spectacularly to answer Jamie's question about where babies come from.  Seriously, the way they answered that question makes me think they aren't so sure themselves.  Stuck in like afterthoughts are a couple of scenes were Nate's doc wants to run some tests on his spine and Haley's doc wants to run some tests on her uterus.  If you thought this was going to be the year these two finally just got to be happy, you really don't know much about this show.

Alex has nothing to do and the movie from last season hasn't been picked up yet and is still just on the festival circuit so she's going to be the bar tender at Tric while Grubbs is on tour.  Meanwhile Mia is back in town to help Haley run the label.  Mia and Alex are going to fight over Chase but it looks to me like Chase is going to stick with Alex because it is some shit to run your whole relationship via text message, Mia!  Also, Mia could stand to ease up on the lip gloss and cleavage.  That's just my opinion though, Chase might not mind.

And finally, Clay hears the gunshot and screams so Quinn runs out to see what's wrong.  He says he had a bad dream she got shot.  They then spend the day rolling around on the beach together and enjoying a little topless swimming in the ocean.  The words "that's all crotch" get uttered.  And then it turns out that they really were shot and the happy fun crotch times on the beach were all a dream.  I'm not sure which one was dreaming it but Quinn was shot in the upper abdomen and Clay in the chest and they've both been laying on his bedroom floor bleeding out all night and all day and Nate may or may not find a way into the house to see this situation.  That's where we leave it, with Nathan on the porch trying to get someone inside to answer either the phone or the door and then walking off in what could be the direction of a back door but could also be the direction of Charlotte.  Who knows. 


I hope we have 100% less talk about Grease II and crotches next week!  Oh, two things I don't want to forget to mention - Bethany Joy Galeotti's hair finally looks pretty again and James Lafferty's arms are even hotter this year than last. 

Life Unexpected skipped ahead through the honeymoon and picked up upon the return of the newly married Cate and Ryan and their honeymoon companion, Lux.  Baze finally tells Cate that he loves her which she already knew because people don't burst into weddings for any other reason.  Cate tries to play it off that she only said she might love Baze to try and get him to admit he loved her when really she doesn't love him which is a fat load of crap because he's so tall and cute and Baze-like and she's loved him since before he knocked her up and it's ludicrous to pretend otherwise but he's also not the smartest guy around and she did marry someone else so he believes her. 


Lux is still possibly mad at Baze for chickening out and failing to give her the exact family she'd always hoped for even though it's been noted many times that she adores Ryan and he's awesome so I don't know why the fuck she's so against having him as a step-dad but whatev.  Also Bug proposes to her and she says yes but she really wants to say no only she doesn't want a no to break them up and it totally will because Bug is insecure and so annoying. 

Anyway, Lux then heads to the bar to see Baze and instead meets a cute guy from Minnesota who is clearly too old for her but when he sees the engagement ring he must assume she's older than 16.  I can't really blame him, after all, he might not realize that he exists on The CW where they actually marry off their teenagers on a fairly regular basis.  So there's flirting and then she goes with him on a drive to see the ocean and they run out of gas and then make out and then come home where she tells Bug that she doesn't want to marry him or be with him forever, but she does want to keep dating him for now.  He throws one of his patented fits and leaves town.  Again.  I hope it sticks this time!


When Lux goes back to school Math introduces her to the new English teacher who just happens to be Mr. Minnesota from the night before.  Oops!  Hey, what I'd like to know is why we need a new love interest for Lux.  What the hell was wrong with the adorable Jones? 

Anyway, other things happened too.  Like Cate got fired from her radio show with Ryan because their boss is a really hideous bitch.  And Ryan might have had an affair with someone named Julie or Julia or something.  It's unclear but it's a little annoying that we had to deal with all that "Ryan is perfect and Cate cheated on him and he's righteously pissed but the forgives her because he's perfect" crap last season when it turns out he might have been nailing someone else on the side too.  Also, his sister Arielle Kebbel has come to town to be adorable and tend bar for Baze.  She also gets him drunk and then has sex with him before sneaking out for an early-morning walk of shame that includes improperly disposing of a lit cigarette in a trashcan full of flammable material and burning down the bar. 

When Lux's lies lead Cate and Baze to believe that Lux was in either the bar or the loft, Baze runs into the burning building to save her and suffers smoke inhalation and some 2nd degree burns on his arms.  Then he and Cate kind of make up and she tells him she could never hate him and he apologizes for being wishy-washy about his feelings and then continues to love her some more and she loves him too but keeps on pretending she doesn't.  And Baze and Lux hug and make up. 

Next week: sex with a teacher.  There really aren't any original stories anymore are there? 

The Return of Fall TV

It’s that time of year again, time to make the tough decisions about what my TiVos will be busy doing for the next 9 months. It’s not just about which of the new crop of shows I’ll be giving a trial run and hoping to love, but also which of the shows I have watched in the past get a continued season pass and which are sent packing (Gossip Girl, I’m looking at you!).

Changing up the format from last year a little, I’ll note my returning shows with an R and the new ones with an N – clever no? And I’ll note the premiere dates if I know them.

Monday

How I Met Your Mother – CBS, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 20)
They had an off season last year but the creators say that they’ll be getting back to what didn’t suck about the show and I’m willing to give them another year. Mostly based on my love for Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan. The cast is really good and most of the characters are plenty enjoyable. Everyone except Ted. Good Lord, I hope they make Ted more likable this year because he is just awful.

Chuck – NBC, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 20)
After the best season yet last spring, I wouldn’t miss this one for the world. And now that the Buy More has been blown to smithereens I’m holding out hope that the Jeffster crap will be kept to a minimum and we’ll just have a show chock-full of Chuck, Sarah, Casey, Ellie, Morgan and Captain Awesome. Oh yeah, plus we’ll meet Chuck’s mom (Linda Hamilton!). It’s such a good show, if you aren’t watching, you should give it a shot this year. It’s never too late to fall in love with nerds, spies or Captain Awesome.

House – Fox, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 20)
I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t even know what happened in the last few episodes of last season. My DVR list got very crowded and it got bumped a number of weeks in a row. I heard that House and Cuddy hooked up and while I wouldn’t categorize myself as a Huddy-shipper, I feel like it was about time. Still, I can DVR three things that air at the same time and if something else were to be shuffled into this timeslot at the last minute that looked good enough, I’d bump House. I can always catch it online if I really want or…I could quit it altogether and probably not miss it.

Lone Star – Fox, 9:00p/8:00 C (N-Sept. 20)
I’m a little worried that this one won’t be as good as the cast and premise would have me believe or that it won’t get good enough ratings and I’ll be disappointed one way or another. But a story of a wealthy family where the prodigal son is a con-man with two families – one of whom includes Adrianne Pallicki from Friday Night Lights – is just too good to pass up. Plus, the early reviews have been pretty decent.

Hawaii Five-0 – CBS, 10:00p/9:00p C (N-Sept. 20)
When I heard about this one, I was VERY skeptical. I’m not sure the original needed to be remade, I never saw it myself but I feel confident in saying that we probably didn’t need another version of it. However, I’ve seen the previews for this one and damn it if it doesn’t look quite good. I have high hopes here.

Tuesday

NCIS – CBS, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 21)
What to say? I like the NCIS team. On a crowded night of TV, I’m still not giving this one up. But it’s likely I won’t actually watch it until the weekend. It’ll make a splendid Sunday morning routine though.

Glee – Fox, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 21)
I really hope that the writers get a handle on the tendancy they have to keep the episodes self-contained with entire arcs beginning and ending in the course of a single show. But I’m still thrilled to have my campy singing and dancing back. Less rapping would be greatly appreciated.

One Tree Hill – CW, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 14)
After 7 seasons, I’m not going to give up on it now. Not when the lives of Quinn and Clay hang in the balance. And when Julian and Brooke are finally engaged and Haley is expecting her second child. That’s good stuff, people!

NCIS: Los Angeles – CBS, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-Sept. 21)
I like Hetty a lot and the leads are pretty good but the stories tend to be less interesting than on its sister show. Still, it’ll make a fine Sunday morning companion piece to the original.

No Ordinary Family – ABC, 9:00p/8:00p C (N-Sept. 28)
Julie Benz and Autumn Reeser, how am I going to say no to that? Plus, it’s got an Incredibles-esque plot and reviews that say it’s like a better version of Heroes which intrigues me.

Running Wilde – Fox, 9:00p/8:00p C (N-Sept. 21)
This one worries me because as much as I want to love a show with Will Arnett and Keri Russell, I haven’t heard great things about it. I have to give it a shot but I don’t even find the premise – of a wealthy, egotistical millionaire who is reunited with his selfless, humanitarian childhood crush – all that interesting. Still, Keri Russell = automatic TiVo setting.

Life Unexpected – CW, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-Sept. 14)
My mixed feelings about this mid-season show from last spring are well-documented here but Cate married Ryan and Lux might be a bit less annoying this season and at the end of the day, I’m already hooked so it can keep the season pass.

Detroit 1-8-7 – ABC, 10:00p/9:00p C (N-Sept. 21)
I don’t know why I’m going to watch this because it sounds unbelievably depressing but I’m from Michigan and I like Michael Imperioli so I’m going to give it a go. But 9 shows on one night is a lot even for me so this one will probably have a short leash.

The Good Wife – CBS, 10:00p/9:00p C (R-Sept. 28)
It was one of the best new shows of last season and there was no shortage of good new shows last year so that’s a high compliment. I cannot wait to see what becomes of the relationship between Alicia and Will. And things should get very interesting with Carey in the prosecutors office now. A lot more good stuff from The Good Wife.


Wednesday

Better With You – ABC, 8:00p/7:00p C (N-Sept. 22)
It has such a likable cast – Jennifer Finnigan, Debra Jo Rupp, Kurt Fuller and JoAnna Garcia – that I just can’t pass it up. I’ve read mixed reviews but I’m hopeful.

Undercovers – NBC, 8:00p/7:00p C (N-Sept. 22)
I’ve heard raves and warnings not to get my hopes up based on the raves I’ve heard. I’m loyal to JJ Abrams so I’ll watch but I’m going into it expecting that it will merely make me miss Alias. If that’s the case, I probably won’t hang around because I don’t need to be reminded of things that I miss. Life is too short.

Friday Night Lights – DirecTV 101 Network, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-Oct. 27)
The final season of the most wonderful show on television. Matt’s gone to art school in Chicago, Landry and Julie are off to college, Tami left the principal job at West Dillon to be the guidance counselor at East Dillon and Tim has gone to prison for car theft. I tear up at the summation of where we left off last season, I can’t even imagine how much I’m going to cry when we finally say goodbye to the Taylors and the other denizens of Dillon, TX. God damn it, Academy! Recognize this show already! This will be your last chance to give them the awards they have always so richly deserved!

Modern Family – ABC, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-Sept. 22)
Hands-down the best comedy on TV last season. It doesn’t matter what’s going to happen this season because this show isn’t about what happens, it’s just about how crazy family can be. I can’t wait.

Cougar Town – ABC, 9:30p/8:30p C (R-Sept. 22)
It is funnier and more interesting than it has any right to be with a title like that. But it’s a fun show that’s worth watching. Stop judging it based on the stupid title and give it a shot, you won’t be sorry.

Hellcats – CW, 9:00p/8:00p C (N-Sept. 8)
As I write this, I’m about 20 minutes from the premiere of this show. I’m not hopeful for its quality but if you haven’t noticed, sometimes I like shows that are kind of terrible, as long as they’re awesomely terrible (OTH!) and I’m hoping this one fits into that category. Plus, Robbie Jones (OTH’s Quentin, whom I still miss).

The Whole Truth – ABC, 10:00p/9:00p C (N-Sept. 22)
I’m kind of a sucker for legal dramas. And this one seems kind of like Justice (you get the whole story) but instead of seeing what really happened but seeing only the defense’s case, we see it from both sides. Might be interesting. Then again, it might be boring. I’m willing to find out.

The Defenders – CBS, 10:00p/9:00p C (N-Sept. 22)
All the things I just said about legal dramas but in this case I’m curious to see how I’ll like a show about slimy Vegas defense attorneys. Especially when one of them is Jim Belushi. I also think highly of Jurnee Smollett and it’ll be kind of fun to see her in two very different roles on the same night.


Thursday

The Big Bang Theory – CBS, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 23)
The second funniest show on TV right now, I enjoy this one immensely. And I am beyond excited that I’ll be going to a taping of this the very week after it premieres. Giddy…that’s what I am, I’m GIDDY!

Bones – Fox, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 23)
Attractive people solving mysteries and being nerdy. You see how this is right up my alley right?

The Vampire Diaries – CW, 8:00p/7:00p C (R-Sept. 9)
This was my favorite new show last year. Brace yourselves for a lot of really long, really detailed recaps of every episode this year. My obsession with how brilliant it is has not diminished since the insanely perfect season finale.

Fringe – Fox, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-Sept. 23)
I’m a little worried that the Peter/Walter relationship is going to be uncomfortable and no fun now that Peter knows how Walter snatched him from Over There. But having Other Olivia impersonating Olivia should be really interesting. And as long as they keep having Walter be all weirdly and inappropriately obsessed with food during total gross-out moments, it’ll still be good. And it hurts not at all that the Ashmore twins are going to be popping up. They’re nice to look at.

Nikita – CW, 9:00p/8:00p C (N-Sept. 9)
Much like The Vampire Diaries last year, I’m giving this one a shot based on some good word of mouth. I don’t have high hopes for it and I’m not even sure if I’m interested but it doesn’t hurt to try. It might benefit from airing after TVD when I’m in a good mood from that hour of awesomeness.

Burn Notice – USA, 9:00p/8:00p C (R-November)
It’ll take some getting used to to incorporate my summer/winter series into my fall viewing schedule but I can hardly leave Michael Westin out in the cold, now can I?

The Mentalist – CBS, 10:00p/9:00p C (R-Sept. 23)
Attractive people. Mysteries.


Friday

Supernatural – CW, 9:00p/8:00p C (R – Sept. 24)
Sera Gamble promises to return to the fun years when they were more focused on a monster of the week than on this larger good vs. evil storyline that poor, well-meaning Kripke managed to turn into a stinking pile of no fun at all. I hope that isn’t a lie because I miss the days when this show was fun.


Sunday

The Walking Dead – AMC, 9:00p/8:00p C (N-Oct. 31)
Zombies. How could a show about zombies not be worth watching?

Stay tuned for my impressions of the new shows and how some of the old ones are holding up. I’ll try my hardest to get the new ones watched and reviewed in short order. I know you’ll be waiting on pins and needles to know what I thought.