Weekend In Reviews

I really wanted to get another Canon entry up this weekend but, sadly, that didn't happen. 

What I did do this weekend was watch a lot of news that once again made me sad to live in Arizona.  It made me sad for the families of the 6 people who were killed and the 13 others that were wounded when a mentally unstable boy opened fire on a parking lot full of people who didn't know him and had never done anything to him.  It made me sad to live in a world where so many people saw this horrific incident as an opportunity to further their own political or ideological agenda.  It just made me sad. 

As an antidote to the depressing, emotionally-draining goings on on the news, I kept trying to counter-program with episodes of 30 Rock.  I finished the first and second seasons of the show and enjoyed it a lot.  It made for a lot of refreshing 20 minute respites from the tragic news unfolding in Tucson.  Alec Baldwin is a comic genius. 

And when I finally managed to turn the news off for the rest of the day and head into the kitchen to make up a pot of soul-comforting soup, I cut my thumb pretty badly. 

So I didn't get anything up here and I probably won't get another Canon entry posted until next weekend.  Sorry about that. 

Happy Day

Via Twitter, Josh Schwartz confirmed that NBC has ordered a full season of Chuck.  Actually, more than a full season - instead of a back 9 pickup, Chuck recieved a back 11 pickup today.  I have just one word for this news:

Awesome!

Best LOOKING Buddy Cop Movie Ever

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper have signed on play cops in an action comedy written by Sheldon Turner (Up In The Air). Yes, yes, and yes. I whole-heartedly approve of this casting. In fact, if these two are going to be in a movie together, I don't even care what the movie is. That is just a whole lot of pretty in one place.

Thank you for being a friend...

Rue McClanahan

1934-2010

She will be missed just as her fellow Golden Girls, Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur are missed. I pray that we don't lose Betty White any time soon. Still, I think heaven just got a little more fun.

It's A Tie

After 20 seasons on the air, NBC has cancelled Law & Order (Original Recipe). Despite the fact that I stopped watching the show several years ago, this is still very sad news for me. I remain a huge fan of the Briscoe Years and it's still the absolute best show to watch if you're home sick from work.

And to be honest, I'm a little disappointed that NBC couldn't find it in their pocketbook to let this show have one more season, just so it could beat Gunsmoke's record as the longest running scripted drama on primetime. A tie isn't nearly as satisfying.

RIP Law & Order. May you live forever in syndication (especially those Briscoe Years).

I'll Never Be Clean Again

Professional Douche Steven Seagal is (allegedly) a disgusting sex fiend who not only imports sex "slaves" from Russia but also hires assistants to tend to his "needs" at his whim.

So basically, he's even grosser than I suspected he was.

How Badly Does Someone Have To Fuck Up Before They Get Fired

Because if pink slips aren't flying around at NBC for this late night Leno/O'Brien/Fallon debacle, then apparently there is no fuck up big enough to get a guy sacked at that company.

Anyway, Conan finally made it clear what his thoughts are on the presumptive plan for NBC to try to squeeze all three of these guys into the post-news late-night slot. You can (and should) read his letter here but if you're in a hurry let me sum it up for you thus: "NBC and their cracked-out, half-baked plans for how to run their schedule can take a sugar-frosted fuck off the end of my dick." (And he obviously implied a big TM to Hannibal King [Ryan Reynolds] in Blade: Trinity for that phraseology.)

Guess Who's Getting Married?

In a twist that still has me confused (I thought he was still engaged to itty bitty Sandra McCoy...where have I been?) Jared Padalecki is now engaged to Genevieve Cortese. Sam is going to marry Ruby 2. They did have really hot chemistry when they were ripping each others clothes off last season.

Mazal tov!

TV News

It appears that ABC is trying to make up for their history of killing my favorite shows much too early (My So-Called Life, Relativity, Sports Night, Eyes...I could go on and on and on) by giving a couple of their new shows that I'm really enjoying full-season orders. They picked up Modern Family for a full season last week and announced FlashForward was getting the order this morning.

I had managed to fill my entire fall TV schedule to the brim without including a single NBC show, which would be sad if it weren't for NBC's stead-fast commitment to filling their schedule with things I couldn't care less about. But perhaps they've realized the error of their ways because first Ausiello confirms that the net has replaced Maura Tierney with Lauren Graham in Parenthood and now he's saying that they might bump up the Chuck premier to November (from February).

I had no plans to watch the second attempt to make Parenthood into a TV show because the first attempt was atrocious and the movie was basically thirtysomething anyway so this ends up being the third time this show is on TV. But now that Lauren Graham is going to be on it, I have to check it out. That's how deep my love is for Lauren Graham - deep enough to give a show I am slightly less than ambivalent about a cursory viewing, but not so deep I'd watch The Pacifier. Now you know.

And Chuck is one of two shows that NBC has aired the last few years that are worth watching - the second is Friday Night Lights, of course, but I have DirecTV so I don't have to depend on them for that anymore.

Finally, in a final bit of TV news that makes me a little sad, NBC has put the kibosh on plans for the cast of Glee to perform at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. No reason was given but I smell the foul odor of jealousy on this one as NBC no-doubt wishes they had this awesome show on their network. But on the plus side, now I don't have to get up early and watch the parade which is great since I haven't enjoyed that televised snore-fest since I was a very little kid. And instead, maybe I'll just mix a couple of episodes of Glee into my traditional Thanksgiving viewing (that is all four Thanksgiving episodes of Felicity).

What he said!

Shut up, CNNMoney!

I check CNN.com several times of day to keep up with what's going on in the world and I like the site and their reporting quite a bit but sometimes their headlines are just completely stupid. They currently have a link on their front page that says "CNNMoney: 47% will pay no federal income tax" but as the story clearly states in the very first paragraph, what they really mean is that 47% of American households will end up not owing any more money than they've ALREADY PAID to the federal government, and some will receive refunds come tax time.

Don't let the schmucks at CNNMoney fool you, there is no one in the country with a job (or collecting unemployment benefits for that matter) who gets out of paying their federal income taxes completely. Why they decided that they'd use bold-faced lies to drum up interest in this completely benign story is beyond me, but it kind of makes me angry. So, shut up, CNNMoney!

An Unholy Union

Remember yesterday when I implied that Butterface Gaga and Kanye West were the two biggest assholes on the planet? Well apparently assholes are drawn to each other and the bigger they are, the more they want to foist their unbearable assholery on the world as agressively as possible. So Gaga and West shall tour together this fall and winter.

I hate these two so much it actually makes me feel a little sick.

Thank God I'm Too Old For MTV

I'll say only this about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift/Beyonce dustup at the MTV Video Music Awards: Kanye sure knows how to drive home my point about the world completely lacking any sense of common decency and respect.

And joining him in a tight race for "Biggest Waste of Skin" is Butterface Gaga. I mean, congrats to SYTYCD's Mark (directly to the right of Gaga in the photo above - not the one with the lacy G-string over his face like a mask) for scoring a high profile job and all but...

Lady Gaga is a total ass hole.

Seriously....

The Winter Of Our Disrespect

I hardly ever get political on here because that really brings the light, funny mood I'm workin' toward way down, but there's something that's bugging me this week and I've just got to talk about it.

I am disturbed by the pervasive lack of respect our country exhibiting as of late. When I was a kid, I had absolutely no idea what my parents' political ideologies were, I didn't know whether or not they liked the President or even voted for him. What I did know, is that he was the President and that in and of itself meant that we all had to respect him.

This week President Obama gave a speech aimed at school children and encouraging them to work hard, stay in school, set and achieve goals, and use their educational opportunities to do great things. It was not in any way dissimilar to speeches that many of our past presidents have given to school children over the years. It was supposed to include a lesson plan encouraging children to write an essay about what they can do to help the country and the President. The same lesson plan that George H. W. Bush included with a back-to-school speech when he was president.

Out of nowhere came controversy over the political agenda of both the speech and the lesson plan. People implying that what President Obama was trying to do was recruit future Democrats. I don't quite know how writing an essay asking for their opinions sways their political beliefs but that's kind of beside the point. The point is, why is it ever a bad thing for children to listen to what their President has to say? Especially when what he has to say is "stay in school"?

I was still stewing about the hypocrisy of that political posturing when, during a speech about health care reform to a joint session of Congress, the President was discussing the things he does and does not advocate in health reform legislation. He stated that final legislation (which by the way, probably isn't even written yet and sure as hell hasn't pbecome law. In fact, there are several plans being discussed and it seems as though none has the requisite support to pass) would not include coverage for people who are in the country illegally. That's when Rep. Joe Wilson-R from South Carolina shouted "you lie!" at the President in front of all of Congress and the nation.

That kind of outburst is rude and disrespectful not only to the President, but to all of the men and women with whom he serves in Congress, to his constituents in South Carolina, and to the country as a whole. It is perhaps most disrespectful to his fellow Republicans who do not need his outburst to detract from their ideology by an association with someone who can not be counted on to behave in a civil, professional manner.

I do not share the same political beliefs as everyone I know and love, but I respect the rights of every person in this country to have their own opinions. It's why I live in America. I respect the office that each person in our Federal and State governments hold because while they might not all have been my choice, they represent the voice of the majority where they're from and that is what a democracy is.

If we can't teach our children that, then what will become of our country in the future?

But he LOOKS like such a nice guy.

This here is Roger Stephens. During a recent shopping trip to Wal-Mart, he became agitated when a 2-year-old girl started crying and wouldn't stop. So he threatened the mother of the child saying that if she didn't shut the kid up, he would. She didn't...he did - by slapping the child repeatedly in the face.

First of all, I'd like to note that I'm not fundamentally opposed to spanking children if they're misbehaving, though I think these spankings should be aimed at their bottoms and not their faces. Also, I think it's really up to the child's care giver and not random strangers.

Second, I think it's important to mention that any given Wal-Mart store is approximately the size of a small country and surely if the crying were that offensive, Mr. Stephens could have walked away to another part of the store where he wouldn't have been able to hear it.

And, maybe the mother also could have moved her child further from the clearly angry man who'd already threatened her rather than standing around and waiting for him to snap?

But I definitely think this guy should get a little taste of his own medicine. A slap for a slap, if you will.

News Roundup

I'm not sure why the justice system in Louisiana can't hold on to their criminals but it seems that there is one kid in particular that they keep letting go of. Fredrick Sims, 18, has been arrested more than 30 times in a year so why don't they deny this jackass bail? He did it again, broke into a man's house, beat him half to death, stole his car and went for a ride with his unfortunately named friend who obviously had possession of an illegal substance at the time. I really don't know whether it's Sims or the judges who keep letting him out that are dumber.

Mother of the Year candidate Lauren Story drove drunk with her kid in the car. When she got into a car accident, she tried to flee the scene in another vehicle and left her child in the wrecked car.

Hey, you know what's dumber than making sex tapes? Making sex tapes with your under-age girlfriend!

I have to wonder what the thought process is behind a decision to lead the police on a high speed chase to avoid being ticketed for driving on a suspended license. Because eventual arrest is just so much better than a ticket, right?

Proximity to Florida is really starting to take it's toll on Georgia.

This one just confuses me - he was robbed WHILE he was wearing a bullet proof vest, a duty belt and an empty holster with a stun gun in his jacket? And...why didn't he use the stun gun? Did he tell them he was a cop to avoid questions about his attire? Too many questions.

RIP

If any of your formative years took place in the '80s then you no doubt harbour an affection for a John Hughes movie. A generation of people grew up on his coming-of-age comedies about jocks, losers, outcasts, rich kids, poor kids, nerds, dorks, princesses and popular kids.

My favorite movie of all time is Sixteen Candles. I will never grow tired of Samantha Baker, Jake Ryan (the dreamiest movie character in history), Farmer Ted and Long Duk Dong. I will always mist up when Sam thanks Jake for getting her undies back and they kiss over her cake at the end.

Likewise, I know Brenda still deeply loves Pretty In Pink. On my road trip to California with Megan last month, Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness" came on the iPod and I couldn't help but picture Ducky lip syncing awesomely through Tracks.

The Breakfast Club, Some Kind of Wonderful, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Uncle Buck ("Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart."), Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Christmas Vacation ("Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!"), Home Alone....

If you can't find a John Hughes movie to love, you're cold and dead inside.

John Hughes died today at the age of 59. He will be missed.

News Roundup

Well I don't know if people are getting stupider or crazier or I'm just paying more attention but there is a shit-ton of ridiculous stuff in the news right now.

A so-called Moonwalking Cheeto was sold on E-Bay because someone thought it looked just like the legs of Michael Jackson moonwalking. I think it looks like a Cheeto bent in half but I'm probably just suffering from a lack of imagination.

A charming Oklahoma man was spotted driving erratically and someone called 911 to report it. When the police got to the area he was in the process of leaving the scene of a hit-and-run so he led police on a 10 minute chase. They finally got him to pull over so they could arrest him for DUI (BAL of .28 dontcha know) and take him back to the lock-up he'd left just a day earlier for his previous DUI arrest.

A rocket scientist in Wisconsin served nearly 10 years in prison for robbery and murder. Just 3 months before he was coming up for parole, he broke out. If you're going to try to run, why wait until you've got a chance at getting out legitimately staring at you in the face?

Back to Oklahoma, a couple claim that their 11-year-old daughter died, they didn't kill her. Yet, they did not call authorities. Instead, they left the girl hanging around the trailer until one of their other kids started stomping on and kicking her body at which time they wrapped her in a sleeping bag, tucked her in a plastic tub and put her in the shed. After a while in the shed, she started to smell so they buried her under the front porch. Later that year they were going to move so they packed up their belongings, and the skeletal remains of their daughter, and relocated to Montana where they stored her in the garage. Unfortunately, bad luck following this family as it does, another of his daughters disappeared and was later hospitalized which gave the man a fright so he relocated the dead child once again. This time he hid her in an old chicken house in Oregon. After a month had passed and the "heat" died down, he moved her back to Montana and put her in Montana where she was eventually found. I'm sure all of that was much easier than calling the police when she was initially found dead in her bed.

A privileged (I'm guessing from the fact that she drives a Mercedes that her father apparently got her) college student from Pittsburgh who was busted for selling an undercover cop pot and Ecstasy from the parking lot of the daycare center where she works, thinks she's going to be an elementary school teacher.

I Don't Understand

How can three people simultaneously drown by accident? Honestly, I'd like the police in South Carolina to call and explain why they DON'T suspect foul play here.

R.I.P

Andy Hallett lost his 5-year battle with heart disease last night. He was just 33.

His name isn't very recognizable, and his face probably isn't either really, but if you were a fan of the show Angel, you'll know him as the awesome singing demon Lorne. He was hilarious and had a fabulous set of pipes.

My sincerest condolences to his family and friends.