Weekend In Reviews

The Romantics - It has been an exceptionally long time since I've seen a movie that so thoroughly confused naval gazing with being interesting.  This was the movie version of Dawson's Creek if DC had been about college graduates with barely disguised contempt for each other and an inability to be likable in any way.  The "story" is that Katie Holmes was in love with Josh Duhamel (who, laughably, has a Ph.D. in literature!) who is engaged to Katie's friend Anna Paquin who has an enormous silver spoon up her ass.  The three of them plus all of their friends and family - including Malin Ackerman, Adam Brody, Elijah Wood, and Cadice Bergen - have gathered for the wedding.  Because they all secretly hate each other, the entire ordeal is a study in awkward from start to finish. 

I was trying to think of something good to say about the film and here's what I came up with: Elijah Wood is cutely funny, and the small detail of how the bride deals with her issues in her up-tight, alone-in-her-room, meticulous way was a small moment of interesting in a sea of awful.

RED - I think I would have enjoyed this movie more if it had been primarily about Helen Mirren and John Malkovich instead of Bruce Willis, but it was a fine action comedy that gave us a heaping helping of Karl Urban to look at.  The "plot" is utterly beside the point. 

The Other Guys - This was actually a much funnier action comedy.  I don't think Mark Wahlberg gets enough credit for his comedic chops.  He's a really funny straight-man who does a great job of acting as though he isn't in on the joke though, clearly, he is.  While I'm a wee bit over Will Farrell and his always-the-same schtick, it was different enough here - dialed down a couple of notches - that he seemed funny again. 

The movie wasn't great and I still got up to clean the bathroom without pausing it, but it was decent. 

The Switch - A movie about a dude who drunkenly dumps his friends doner sperm out and replaces it with his and then fails to remember doing so for 7 years. 

Jason Bateman is lovely and amiable and watchable in pretty much anything but even he can't make a terrible concept into an enjoyable movie.  If they'd ditched the sperm story and just had Bateman discover he was the father of a 6 year old, this might have been a decent movie.  But everything about the sperm switching was stupid and off-putting. 

And seriously, is Jennifer Anniston's agent Team Brangelina or something?  What the fuck?