October 18, 2011

Hot Stuff

Heat equals sex.  I know because nearly every show in the history of television has done an episode where a heat wave comes through and kicks every one's libidos into high gear.  Last night the residents of Bluebell, Alabama joined the long list of TV characters who've gotten hot, bothered and unbelievably sweaty in the service of demonstrating to the world that when the temperature rises, we should all have sex. 

Hart of Dixie is an adorable, mindless show and I thoroughly enjoy it despite some issues.  I know a lot of people have been all "Rachel Bilson is not believable as a doctor!" and while I don't disagree with them, I don't really care that much.  Frankly, I'd be happy as a clam if they buried the doctor thing in the fine print and did away with the medical emergency of the week, focusing all their energy on the fish-out-of-water story of her trying to fit into the town full of southern crazies.  My big problem with the show is Lemon.  Sweet sweaty Jesus, she is not even tolerable! 

I expected that they'd tone her bitchy, prissy, queen bee attitude after the pilot.  Instead, they've kept the bitchiness and added layers of insecurity and whineyness stripping away any possibility that I might ever like her.  In fact, not only do I not like her at all, the affection George and Lavon have for her is starting to make me wonder why I still love them so much.  She's 100% solid awful.  And for the love of Burt Reynolds, she MUST stop wearing yellow.  It's way too on the nose to put a blond girl named Lemon in a constant parade of yellow frocks.

George's parents came to town for dinner last night and George's mom was hateful to Lemon.  The woman clearly hates her future daughter-in-law as much as I do.  My friend thought that George's mom's behavior made Lemon seem more sympathetic but I strongly disagree.  I relished every mean-spirited jab George's mom took and when I found out that Mom ordered duck for dinner I wanted to jump into my television and high five the old bat.  Perhaps the writers intended for her meanness to humanize Lemon, but I just thought Lemon was getting the much deserved taste of her own medicine. 

The one thing that almost succeeds in humanizing Miss Sour Citrus is Lavon.  He loves her y'all.  Lavon is funny and sweet and down to earth and sexy and interesting and played by Cress Williams and if he sees something good in girl than I almost believe there's something good to see.  Almost. 

But back to the heat wave, it seems that when Bluebell boils, the whole town sees it as an excuse to be on their worst behavior.  Cue the barrage of sister-beating, teenage Kama Sutra induced bug bites (yeah, that was a thing), and hot dudes in various states of undress.  Apparently this was the ep where the audience at large was like "oh, HELLO, Wade!" but I was like "yeah, that sure is a chest all oiled up to look sweaty." I'm all about Lavon and George guys.  Even when George is made to wear a pair of ill-fitting belted chino shorts.  And his shirt was tucked.  Into the belted shorts.  BELTED. 

If you haven't seen the episode yet, run home and watch it because you do not want to miss the worlds most asinine (I mean that as a compliment!) montage when Zoe tries out hair styles and accessories in the mirror before heading out to demand sex from her neighbor.  Plus, this is a show where a girl heads out to demand sex from her neighbor and that doesn't really even seem weird.  So there's that. 

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