October 6, 2009

Oh Schwartzy, Tyra Banks? Really?

Because holy crap is she a terrible actress. I mean, I remember her stint on Felicity as being bad but this was even worse than I remembered. And considering the woman wears wigs every minute of her life, you'd think she'd be able to hide the effing seam a little better - that thing was like a flashing neon sign "look at me, I'm a wig!"

Elsewhere on Gossip Girl, Lily came back - YAY! - and proceeded to get into an annoying and childish fight with Serena about the latter's refusal to go to college and the former's refusal to let Serena forget she has no talent or demonstrable skills save for "having boobs." Serena got a job as a publicist despite her her lack of talent, education and demonstrable lack of skills. I would not completely discount that her boobs had something to do with it. She then lost that job but not because of all that stuff I just mentioned, but rather because she wouldn't just do what her boss, who I'm 99% sure is Lindsey Lohan's publicist, told her to do - which was be a massive asshole.

Dan began a romance with Hillary Duff that I believe I'm mostly supportive of. And the Duffster became Vanessa's roommate which...whatever. I guess it gives V some reason to exist on the show since they mostly can't think of anything for her to do but get in the way.

Blair continued her breakdown and reverted to Constance Queen Bee when news reached her that Jenny had relinquished her throne in favor of everyone in school behaving like normal people. But her backslide bummed Chuck out as much as it did the rest of us so he stepped in with a pep talk for Jenny (reminding her that most of the Constance girls aren't normal and therefore can't behave that way so either be a queen or go back to Brooklyn) and a plan to remind B who she is and get her to start acting accordingly. He gave his little Dumbo her feather and fixed everything and I totally swooned. Turns out Chuck is a fucking awesome boyfriend. Consider my mind blown!

Eric was even in the episode, though, as usual, he had nothing to do but stand next to Jenny and be awesome.

Oh, and Georgina and Illegitimate Whatshisname are officially in some kind of cahoots but it is as yet unclear if he's a willing participant or a victim of her extreme evilness.

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