September 16, 2008

Eleanor Waldorf Rules The World

So Eleanor (played by Margaret Colin whom I've loved since she was Margo on As The World Turns in the early '80s) comes back to town and catches Jenny bad-mouthing her design to a model which is especially stupid of Jenny but, dude, she isn't wrong. Like all of Eleanor's designs we've seen on this show, it's super pilgrim-y. Anyway, Eleanor fires Little J for conduct unbecoming a lowly intern.

Chuck has a steady parade of international prostitutes through chez Bass but it turns out he isn't nailing a single one of them because he's experiencing a wee bout of impotence. His attempts to fix the problem with scotch and pot work out as well as you'd expect - alcohol and THC are DOWNERS Chuck. Anyway, the surprising thing is that he admits this shortcoming to Serena. During the course of their convo, he decides that all he really needs is to have sex with Blair once more to "clear the pipes" and he'll be back in business.

Blair is warm for Lord Dull's form and lets him know that in no uncertain terms but she can't seem to get a rise out of him. He's all "respect you" this and "delicate flower" that so I'm pretty sure that if he sticks around much longer he'll end up spending a lot more time with Eric than with Blair if you catch my meaning.

Serena and Dan are back together and on the fence about telling their friends and families, so naturally they make out on the street which is about right for these two dimwits because their PDA is caught by a nosey UESer and just like that, GG has the news out to the masses.

Nate is beginning to regret his decision to become a gigolo. Madchen Amick has shortened the leash and tightened her grip on his bits so he's now sneaking around on his married sugar momma with Vanessa who is rather sweetly crushed out on him, and he on her as he comes right out and says in absolutely the most adorable scene this show will ever have. Unfortunately for them both Madchen Amick sees this go down and gets her Irish up pretty good so she enlists Blair to help her break Nate and Vanessa up at B's back-to-school bash.

So this is happening and then the power goes out and all hell breaks loose.

Jenny and Eleanor are trapped together at EWD where Eleanor realizes that Jenny is totally right about the Mayflower dress. Then Rufus and his new girlfriend (?) show up to make sure Jenny is ok and Eleanor un-fires her and orders Rufus to bring them dinner...which he does because gorgeous as he is, he's completely spineless.

Chuck works his mojo on B pretty hard but she remains strong enough that he ends up having to pretend to be Lord Dull. B makes out with him hard-core for a while ostensibly believing he's LD but I don't buy for a single second that she doesn't know the difference between kissing Chuck and kissing Lord Dull. So Lord Dull catches them together, decks Chuck and dumps Blair like so much colonial trash. She chases him into the party proper and tells him to let her have it with some hot lovin' or she'll dump him right back so he kisses her, which Chuck takes as well as you'd imagine.

Serena and Dan get trapped in an elevator where his inferiority complex and resultant superior attitude become inversely proportional to the size of the room he's in and he destroys his relationship with Serena once and for all. They've broken up again, but this time at least I understand why.

Vanessa sees Madchen Amick holding Nate's hand and the shit hits the fan so Nate tells her the whole truth about the situation and really seems upset that this tragic lapse in his judgement may have ruined his chances of having any sort of relationship with Vanessa, but she's really understanding and tells him to go dump Madchen Amick so off he goes. As it turns out though, Madchen Amick is quite a bit smarter and more devious than these two kids so instead she corners Vanessa and promises that if Nate dumps her, she's going promptly to the FBI with the whereabouts of Nate's dad. Vanessa doesn't want that because she knows it would devastate poor Nate so instead she leaves telling him to stay with Madchen Amick.


I know I might be the only one in all the land, but I really like Vanessa.

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