September 22, 2008

2008 Primetime Emmys Fashion Roundup

I have a confession to make - I forgot the Emmys were on last night and I didn't watch them. I believe this is the first time I've missed one of the big three awards shows (Emmys, Oscars, Golden Globes) in at least 15 years. I am mortified I missed it of course because, you know, TV is my thing but I wasn't the only one who missed it apparently because their ratings were way down. And I'm not surprised because the Emmy voters are so out of touch with reality that the list of nominees hardly inspired me to give two-tenths of a shit anyway! But the real tragedy in missing it is getting to view the fashions as they happen.

Black and White: Most folks on these here interwebs think Jennifer Love Hewitt's Carolina Herrera was a swing and a miss but I think she hit it out of the park. It's incredibly flattering to her figure, she looks fresh, young, adorable and happy. And gorgeous though Lisa Edelstein always is, sometimes she dresses badly. Such was not the case last night. She looks absolutely lovely in this strapless, belted black and white number.

Just White: Keira Sedgewick is as radiant as I've ever seen her in her white beaded bodice cocktail dress and Olivia Wilde looks classically pretty in this simple white gown with beaded sleeves. It's too bad she's got a bit of a tan line really attracts attention away from where it belongs.

Just Black: Well about 1/2 the attendees were wearing basic black last night and most of them ended up looking really basic. Hayden Panetierre looked pretty but boring, Kate Walsh looked a right mess, Glenn Close was a little too Morticia Adams for my taste, Debra Messing, the list goes on and on and on...but America Fererra looked like a slice of old Hollywood glamour. I so envy her ability to pull off a blood-red lip!

The Cat That Ate The Canary: Yellow was a hit his year with two dresses that got a lot of raves. Teri Hatcher's strapless mermaid dress was a bit on the ruffly, frilly side for me but she looked better than she usually does. Marsika Hargitay was a knock-out in her one-shoulder gown and fabulous (as always) hair.

Green With Envy: Christina Hendricks' body is no joke - she is curvy and voluptuous in the best possible ways but that isn't really how clothes are made these days so I applaud her ability to find a dress that's both elegant and totally va-va-va-voom. I also love that she put all of her accessorizing energy on her feet. It's something different.

Metal Shop: You have to admire someone who's willing to take a risk. Of course, I'd admire them more if they consulted a mirror before they decided to take that risk out of the house. Heidi Klume is far too beautiful to have draped herself in a side capelet. That dress would have been fine if not for that last layer. Elizabeth Mitchell on the other hand, well, the only thing she could have done to improve her appearance would have been to wear another dress entirely. And evening hair would not have killed her.

Salmon: Seriously, it's SALMON. She looks like the lox plate on a brunch buffet. And I don't want to seem age-ist or anything, because I know she's gorgeous and certainly in possession of a finer form than I, but she's also a little long-in-the-tooth for a cut-out in her midsection.

Shades of Red-ish: I think both of these dresses look terif but I feel like they're competing with the color of the carpet Brooke's is clashing with it and Melora Hardin blends right in with it. I bet they looked great on the parking lot blacktop though.

Going For Brocade: Kathy Griffin's dress looks like a very fancy ottoman. Her hair looks like a very cheap wig. Her date looks like a huge dork.

The Gift of Fringe: Eva Longoria-Parker has bad taste. I almost never like what she wears anywhere but especially to awards shows. This is the worst I can recall though. Let's start at the top shall we? Her hair is awful. I understand she got her hair cut for work and she's probably not used to shorter 'dos but they can be made evening and not just slicked down with Brill Cream. I am way past over the 2-inch-thick black eyeliner that makes everyone look like Rocky the Raccoon and if you insist on doing that, please, PLEASE don't go with a nude lip. You're all eyes and teeth! Her boobs are wrapped up like a Christmas gift and her torso thinks it's the roaring twenties. I have nothing mean to say about her shoes except that they are making her feet look disproportionately long for her height.

Pretty in Pinkish Lavender: Remember when Kathleen Robertson played Claire on Beverly Hills 90210? Well now she's a new mom and she's looking positively effulgent in this flowy little frock.

Turquoise Treasure: Cynthia Nixon almost always looks so comfortable in her own skin and in her clothes. She is wearing the hell out of this simple, delicious little dish and I love it.

Blue and Gold Medal: I'm not sure if Christina Applegate stole the show last night, but she certainly looks like she should have. Her one-shoulder gown fits like it was made for her, her hair and makeup are flawless and she looks every bit the strong, brave, confident woman she is. And I will give you $20 if you can tell whether or not those cha-chas are surgically reconstructed or built into the dress. Either way, perfection!

Positively Purple: My favorite fashion choices last night were all purple. Lara Dern's halter with pockets was a sort of bright, simple concoction and while I would have taken another tack with the necklace, I have very little to pick apart as she looks effing hot. Holly Hunter's halter with the jeweled waist detailing shows off her toned arms and fantastic figure. Nicolette Sheridan's dress is a bit fussier but the color is so rich and the fit so flattering that the detailing doesn't overpower. And I simply can't imagine a time Julie Benz has ever looked more lovely than in this strapless belted gown.

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