April 4, 2008

Middle-Aged Men on the Career Cul-de-Sac

From left: Danny Wood, 38; Jordan Knight, 37; Joey McIntyre, 35; Donnie Wahlberg, 38; Jonathan Knight, 39.

The New Kids On The Block - nay, NKOTB - have officially announced their reunion and a new album to be released next month.

Who would have guessed back in the early- to mid-nineties that the pants-dropping, white rapper who went by Marky Mark would end up the respectable Wahlberg brother. Actually...I just took a closer look at the IMDb entries for the brothers 'berg and I really don't get it - Donnie may not be a big star but he's got roles in two films currently in post production, one with Mark Ruffalo who's no slouch and the other starring Robert DiNiro and Al Pacino (and directed by John Avnet, who spoke to my work neighbor on Wednesday and asked her to remind us all that said movie will come out soon and we should all go see it. He's a darling man, nice as can be, so do me a favor and go see Righteous Kill when it comes out. Thanks). His career is not exactly in the toilet is all I'm saying. What does he need this for?

What do any of them need it for?

It's a pretty well-known fact that Jonathan dreads performing and being in front of people. He told Oprah Winfrey once that he'd always suffered from severe panic attacks. Jordan and Joey both found some degree of success with solo projects and Danny...well I heard once that he was a music producer. Even if they don't all have jobs that make them a decent living now, one assumes that they made a decent living back in the day...they should quietly live off of that for the rest of their lives and try to preserve what little dignity lies in being retired boy-banders.

This is just sad.

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