Why Partners Might Be Better Than You Think

Sometimes when I watch a pilot I know right away that I'm going to love the show. Veronica Mars, The West Wing, Alias, My So-Called Life, and Friday Night Lights had perfect pilot episodes. A lot of shows do. But sometimes I watch a pilot (or even just part of a pilot) and decide right away that the show is not for me only to come back to it weeks, months or years later and find out that I could not have been more wrong. Teen Wolf and Nikita are two recent instances of this phenomenon that come to mind. Then there are the times that I watch a pilot and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. This is the category Partners falls into.

I'm not a person who has an aversion to the single camera sitcom format on its face - I adore The Big Bang Theory and my great love of Melissa and Joey is my secret shame - but I'm also not a person who'd voluntarily watch most of the "broad" single camera comedies currently on TV. A lot of money would need to change hands before I'd sit through an entire episode of Two and a Half Men, Mike and Molly, that Tim Allen show ABC foisted on America last year, etc. So I came into Partners with a clean slate, wanting to like it.

I didn't like it. Hardly any of the jokes (maybe even none of the jokes) were funny and several of them got call backs to remind me how not funny they were the first time by making them even less funny the second time. Brandon Routh's Wyatt could have easily been played by a cardboard cut-out of Brandon Routh and...well, now that I think about it, maybe Wyatt was being played by a cardboard cut-out of Brandon Routh. That would explain some things. The tone was manic and shrill and the editing was weird.

But I also didn't hate it because I'm not sure that the pilot is a fair representation of what the show will ultimately become. When Cougartown first aired I thought it was kind of meh. It wasn't unfunny but it wasn't great and it was just one joke. A few episodes later that wasn't the joke anymore and the show was hilarious. Partners is just one joke right now but David Krumholtz, Michael Urie and Sophia Bush are all really likable actors capable of being funny so I'm willing to give it a few episodes to shed that one joke and spread out into something genuine and funny. Something worthy of the actors who are in it.

And who knows, maybe the real Brandon Routh will show up in a subsequent episode and his cardboard cut-out will go make "I have a heart on" jokes outside of a WeHo Starbucks where he belongs.

The Pacey Principle

While I believe the logic behind The Krakow Theory is sound, I've had to give some extra thought to the central conceit that there are only two types of men in bed - the Krakows and the Catalanos. I think the theory is incomplete and that there is at least one type of man whose sexual skills are somewhere in the middle. That's why I propose amending The Krakow Theory to include The Pacey Principle. 

Pacey had relationships in high school. He may or may not have had sex but if he did it was because he was committed and patient. He's put in the time and he doesn't want to squander it. He wants to prove himself. He's probably not going to linger in the area but he's not afraid to get in there. He does what he has to do to get the job done. 

Whether Pacey is better in bed than a Krakow or a Catalano may be a judgement call. We all might need to do more research in this field of study before a diffinative conclusion can be reached. We owe it to ourselves, each other, and the world, ladies. It's FOR SCIENCE.

This Life Has Been A Test

In April, 2011 I had my then-16 year old cousin, Claire, over for a marathon viewing of My So-Called Life.  The show and the marathon were both delightful from start to finish. Below is the review that I wrote of that weekend.

My So-Called Life came out originally in the fall of 1994 when I was fresh out of high school and still going through many of the emotional tribulations that all teenagers do. It spoke to me on an intensely personal level, as I know it did many other people my age, and it continues to feel like a part of my own life experiences in a way that no other show does. 

I know that for all the ways that times change, the basic struggles of growing up remain pretty consistent through the generations, but I wasn't sure if the show would resonate with Claire the way that it had with me.  I didn't know if the dated fashions and music and cultural references would take a new, young viewer out of the moment and make the show seem old and out-of-touch.  I needn't have worried because Claire adored it. 

At one point, when Angela's voice over is making a resolution to be less introspective, Claire told me that the show was almost hard to watch because it was as though it made all of her inner-most, uncomfortable thoughts public.  That is what happens when this show is at its best - it gets inside of you to that place where your insecurities and your neurosis live and it makes you see that they're not just yours, they belong to all of us. 

There are still so many moments that get to me - when Sharon and Angela mend their fractured friendship; when Rickie confides in Angela outside of the dance about feeling like he doesn't fit anywhere; when Jordan crosses the hall to hold Angela's hand; when Rayanne thanks Patty, for her life - these and so many more are tied to my heartstrings so tightly that just thinking about any one of them brings a lump into my throat and a tear to my eye. 

A lot of us rabid fans have seen every episode dozens of times.  I watched the original run on ABC, then on a near-constant loop on MTV for a couple of years after that. I watched it again several years ago when The N aired it in the middle of the night, and I've watched my DVDs many times through.  While a lot of fans single out "The Weekend" as the "worst" episode in the run, I personally think "Halloween" takes that title.  I'm not sure I can pick a single favorite episode as six of them spring to mind immediately and there are only 19 total. 

There's a perfection to the show, to the way they speak and the relationships and the way experiences are shared between people, that, to paraphrase Angela, fit in a tiny place in your heart.  The unlikely friendships between Rickie and Brian or Rayanne and Sharon or Brian and Jordan.  The way everyone on the show has dumped and been dumped in some capacity by one another.  The struggling Chase marriage and the changing relationships between children and parents.  These are all things that look familiar to people.  Even when the show took liberties with realism (Nicky Driscole in "Halloween" and Juliana Hatfield in "So-Called Angels"), it was really just about ordinary people with ordinary lives.  These people could be us. 

The end of the series left a lot of unanswered questions, just the way life does.  Would Angela and Rayanne ever be friends again?  Would Rickie continue living with Mr. Katimsky? Would Graham have an affair with Hallie Lowenthal?  Would Graham and Patty divorce?  And would Angela get back together with Jordan even though she knew that it was Brian who wrote the letter?  I used to wish I knew the answers to those questions but now I'm glad I don't.  We can all have the ending we want as long as no one tells us any differently. 

It doesn't matter if you went to high school in the '90s, in the '70s or yesterday - the show is timeless.  If you haven't ever seen it, I encourage you to give it a try.  The writing is pitch-perfect and the acting is effortless and real.  If you're afraid of the emotional weight of it (because, for real, this isn't a fluffy teen soap, this is capital-D Drama), there are light and sweet moments as well.  Claire particularly enjoyed the running gag of the mysterious Tino - who she started calling "Tino the cat" since both he and the Chase's cat were talked about on many occasions but were never seen by anyone ever. 

When our marathon ended and I drove her home, I asked what she thought.  "We had a time," she told me.  We did.  We had a time.

How Bachelorette Changed My Life

The movie Bachelorette proposed a theory that will change my life forever. 

During a coke-fueled night of prenuptial mayhem, Lizzy Caplan's Gena drops some knowledge on Isla Fisher's Katie: "There are two different types of guys in bed. Number one: Brian Krakow. Didn't have sex 'til college; super grateful; literally makes a home 'down here' - sets up shop, wants to live in it. Number two: Jordan Catalano. Terrified of the area. Won't go near it. Very good looking but, you know, not worth the time if you ask me." 

When you first hear it you can't believe what she's saying. Brian Krakow is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. That's absurd. Jordan Catalano is JORDAN CATALANO. Every girl who has ever seen him wants to have complete sex with him. No one is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. 

But then it starts to sink in. Jordan Catalano got laid without trying. He had sex with girls and they were grateful that he paid them any attention at all because he's Jordan Catalano. He got off whenever he wanted and then he went back to leaning on things and singing soulful songs about his car. Sex was easy for him to get and easy to take for granted. 

By the time Brian Krakow had sex he would have spent hundreds of thousands of hours thinking about it. Of course he would be incredibly grateful once he got to the promised land. He would have done research. He would try hard. He would care more about making a good impression than on getting off. 

Women spend their entire lives wanting Jordan Catalano. Assigning him every characteristic their dream man should have because he looks the way the perfect man should look. But Jordan Catalano isn't secretly smart. He isn't secretly romantic. He isn't secretly funny. He isn't secretly anything. Jordan Catalano is just what he appears to be - an attractive, simple guy who does just enough to get by because getting by is good enough for him.

Brian Krakow is better in bed than Jordan Catalano. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go reassess all of my life choices and find myself a Brian Krakow. 

Weekend In Reviews

Open Gate - This is Tyler Hoechlin's face: 

Now that you understand why I watched Open Gate, let's talk about how this movie, which is classified as a "thriller," is the most boring thing I've ever done with two hours of my life. 

It's the story of a guy who doesn't test well and is therefore underemployed and treated like a loser by his loved ones. While working as a rodeo clown he observes some strange scars on the bulls. Then he finds mysterious tire tracks at the edge of his girlfriend's property. Roughly 2/3 of a movie later he discovers that it all adds up to drug trafficking. I don't know what the elapsed time in the movie was but it felt like it took him 6 months to put two and two together. Math is hard.

Once he figures it out the action really cranks up and...nothing happens. Well, that's not exactly true. His brother gets shot but we don't see it, someone dies of natural causes, then a drug trafficker gets shot in the out-of-focus background. But the movie is so boring that even when something happens it feels like nothing happens. 

The thing is, I'm almost certain that the entire point of the movie is that this is Tyler Hoechlin's face: 

And I can't really argue with that. I too would make a movie about only that. Just like I'd watch one for two boring hours. 

Bachelorette - I watched Bridesmaids several months after it came out and I was disappointed because I had heard too many things about how great it was and so I had too many expectations. It wasn't that the movie was bad it's that it couldn't life up to what I expected from it. Bachelorette is what I expected Bridesmaids to be and I kind of loved it. 

It was bawdy and raunchy and brash and silly. The performances were believable, interesting and ridiculous; the pacing was brisk without being rushed; the story was slim but not slight; the dialogue was real and crisp. It was a good movie that I'd absolutely watch again and again. 

L!fe Happens - Krysten Ritter is adorable and fun which is basically what her movie is. She's a wild-child who gets knocked up after some not-so-safe casual sex and ends up a single mom with questionable parenting skills. 

It's a generally decent story that gets a bit bogged down in the middle with too much focus on Kate Bosworth's Deena. Rachel Bilson is squandered as the dim-witted and well-meaning Laura. I would have given Geoff Stults more to do but I have quite a crush on him so there's rarely enough of him for my taste. If you're looking for a light, funny, adult girl's comedy with a heart this is a decent choice. 

Fall TV 2012

It's time once again to decide what to care about this coming fall TV season. There are a few shows I'm excited about this year but everything is going to have to try hard to get my mind off of some of the outstanding shows this summer offered. 

Here's how my fall schedule will look. 

Monday

Partners (CBS)
With a cast this charming, I have to give it a try. It hasn't gotten great reviews but I don't have a lot going on on Mondays so it pretty much only has to be mediocre and it's in. 

Switched At Birth (ABC Family)
I know people think that because this show is on ABC Family it's slight or fluffy or a guilty pleasure but it isn't. It is a genuinely good show with a talented cast and great writing that deals with deafness in the most beautiful, natural, respectful way. The silent fights are some of my favorite scenes on TV. And with the terrible breakup of the Bay/Emmett relationship, the second season promises to be another amazing emotional journey.

Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) 
Why do I watch this show? A police procedural in a pretty setting with one of the top five bromances on TV. And sometimes the good looking dudes take their shirts off. 

Tuesday

Hart of Dixie (The CW)
As charming and fun as this show was in its first season, I didn't really expect it to get a second. Now that it has, I hope they do something more interesting with George than making him the awkward third side in two different love triangles. More importantly, I hope they don't spend another season pretending Zoe wants him like she wants Wade when it is clear to everyone in the world that she really doesn't. 

Emily Owens, M.D. (The CW)
Mamie Gummer deserves to be a big star but I don't think this is the show that's going to do that for her but I'll watch it just in case her considerable talent makes an otherwise mediocre show somehow great. But when it's cancelled, I can't wait to have her back on The Good Wife. 

Don't Trust The Bitch in Apt. 23 (ABC)
Despite the incredibly stupid name, it's a sort of decent show. James van der Beek is pretty funny and likable as a douchey James van der Beek, Krysten Ritter is fun when she's being terrible and Dreama Walker is much funny enough that I'm going to give the second season a few episodes to see if the show will really start to click for me. 

New Girl (Fox)
If you didn't watch this show last season, go to Hulu right now and watch the episode entitled "Fancyman Part I" right now. Seriously. I'll wait. Ok, now that you've watched that episode you should be as in love with the show as I am and setting your DVR for season 2. 

The Mindy Project (Fox)
I want to like this show but after the pilot I'm only luke-warm on it. There's potential so I'm hopeful that it will find its footing and become the perfect, charming lead out for New Girl. 

Parenthood (NBC)
Having just watched the first three seasons of Parenthood I am deeply in love with the Bravermans, the show and the cast. The greatest compliment I can give this show is that it gets the feeling of being part of a family right. It is effecting in all of the small ways that become huge when they're brought together. 

Wednesday

Arrow (The CW) 
I don't think I'm interested in this show but it has received such good notice from enough of the critics I trust that I'm going to watch it because I'd rather discover that I really like a show I didn't want to watch, that to be disappointed by a show I did want to watch. And if I do like it that means Katie Cassidy in my life every week. What could be better than that? 

Suburgatory (ABC)
Suburgatory might be funnier than Modern Family. No, scratch that. Suburgatory is funnier than Modern Family. Cheryl Hines and Alan Tudyk are the best things about this show and just in general.

Nashville (ABC)
Connie Britton playing a country music singer who's star is being eclipsed by a Taylor Swift-esque ingenue played by Hayden Panettiere. Why wouldn't I want to watch this show? Why wouldn't everyone in the world want to watch this show? 

Chicago Fire (NBC)
I want this show to be the E.R. of fire fighting but we all know that's not what this show will be. It will be terrible and generic and I will watch all of the episodes because Taylor Kinney and Jesse Spencer are in it and I'm incredibly shallow. 

Thursday

The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
It's a funny sitcom. It just is. 

The Vampire Diaries (The CW)
I wasn't in love with the 3rd season but I am in love with how it ended. Vampire Elena opens a world of amazing possibilities and I can't wait to see where they take it from here. But once again I start the season with this important message for the writers, do not kill Caroline or Matt or we're through. 

Last Resort (ABC)
Scott Speedman is back on TV every week. It's like a decade of wishing finally made it so. Added incentive: Autumn Reeser, Dichen Lachman, Jessy Schram and Andre Braugher. The fact that it's a Shawn Ryan show means there's slim chance of longevity but one of his shows is bound to catch on with a wide enough audience some day, right? That's just the law of averages. Maybe this will be the one. 

Up All Night (NBC)
With a funny, likable cast it seems like this show should be a no-brainer but it's actually kind of forgettable. I'll keep watching though because of the funny and likable cast. 

Parks and Recreation (NBC) 
Yes! You can't not Knope.

Scandal (ABC)
Like a perfect blend of The West Wing and early Grey's Anatomy which are two shows that you wouldn't think could be blended into something awesome but then you watch Scandal and you realize that the blend is exactly what your Thursday night has always needed. Seriously you guys, WHO IS QUINN?!

Friday

Nikita (The CW)
This show. I can't explain it. It shouldn't even be good because we already had an Alias and...I don't know. It's good. There's a central couple that's just, together. Like, for a season and a half they're a couple and they stay a couple and it's no big deal. There's a computer nerd who is bad ass when the shit goes down. Last season the will-they-or-won't-they of the Alex/Sean relationship had me screaming "ohmygod MAKE OUT" so often I got strange looks from my neighbors. And this season, Devon Sawa is a series regular. OWEN! God, I'm excited for this damn show!

Sunday

Once Upon a Time (ABC)
I marathoned this one over the summer and it turns out that it's surprisingly engrossing. The casting is amazing and will include Teen Wolf's Sinqua Walls and Michael Raymond-James in the second season. If Sebastian Stan returns as Jefferson/The Mad Hatter, I will have no complaints. 

Revenge (ABC)
I'm not going to insult you by pretending I have to explain why I like this show. We all know why this show is great. What I will do is point out that JR Bourne has been cast in the second season. Casting hot dudes from Teen Wolf? That's the kind of show-running that deserves my adoration.

The Good Wife (CBS)
I have two words for you: Kalinda's. Husband. BOOM! 

666 Park Avenue (ABC)
Terry O'Quinn and Venessa Williams as a married couple who may or may not be Mr. and Mrs. Satan? Yeah, like I'm not gonna watch THAT. 


What will you be watching?