September 9, 2012

Weekend In Reviews

Open Gate - This is Tyler Hoechlin's face: 

Now that you understand why I watched Open Gate, let's talk about how this movie, which is classified as a "thriller," is the most boring thing I've ever done with two hours of my life. 

It's the story of a guy who doesn't test well and is therefore underemployed and treated like a loser by his loved ones. While working as a rodeo clown he observes some strange scars on the bulls. Then he finds mysterious tire tracks at the edge of his girlfriend's property. Roughly 2/3 of a movie later he discovers that it all adds up to drug trafficking. I don't know what the elapsed time in the movie was but it felt like it took him 6 months to put two and two together. Math is hard.

Once he figures it out the action really cranks up and...nothing happens. Well, that's not exactly true. His brother gets shot but we don't see it, someone dies of natural causes, then a drug trafficker gets shot in the out-of-focus background. But the movie is so boring that even when something happens it feels like nothing happens. 

The thing is, I'm almost certain that the entire point of the movie is that this is Tyler Hoechlin's face: 

And I can't really argue with that. I too would make a movie about only that. Just like I'd watch one for two boring hours. 

Bachelorette - I watched Bridesmaids several months after it came out and I was disappointed because I had heard too many things about how great it was and so I had too many expectations. It wasn't that the movie was bad it's that it couldn't life up to what I expected from it. Bachelorette is what I expected Bridesmaids to be and I kind of loved it. 

It was bawdy and raunchy and brash and silly. The performances were believable, interesting and ridiculous; the pacing was brisk without being rushed; the story was slim but not slight; the dialogue was real and crisp. It was a good movie that I'd absolutely watch again and again. 

L!fe Happens - Krysten Ritter is adorable and fun which is basically what her movie is. She's a wild-child who gets knocked up after some not-so-safe casual sex and ends up a single mom with questionable parenting skills. 

It's a generally decent story that gets a bit bogged down in the middle with too much focus on Kate Bosworth's Deena. Rachel Bilson is squandered as the dim-witted and well-meaning Laura. I would have given Geoff Stults more to do but I have quite a crush on him so there's rarely enough of him for my taste. If you're looking for a light, funny, adult girl's comedy with a heart this is a decent choice. 

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