April 18, 2011

Yes, someone "died" but what else is new?

We're all caught up, right?  We all know who's who and what's what and we're just anxious to get down to the action?  Great, so let's skip to the what happened on this episode of The Vampire Diaries.

Klaus is still dressed all up in Alaric's body so he might be crazy, but he's got good taste.  Katherine is still a hostage to his compulsion and she's hangin' with him in Alaric's apartment.  She's giving him the forced skinny on how the dagger and ash are no threat to him at the moment as they're otherwise engaged in keeping Elijah dead in the Salvatore basement.  Katherine begs to be killed a little so you know she's scared shitless of Klaus and his crazy.  Klaus doesn't seem to go in for the "get what you need and get out" brand of info gathering.  He would prefer to keep her around and compelled to torture herself for his own amusement.  Which is why he's presently having her jab a knife into her own leg repeatedly.  Matt Davis is quite good at playing a psychotic killer.  I am appropriately creeped every time he Klaus's out. 

Over at the Salvatore Manse, Elena is with a lawyer signing all of the necessary paperwork to become the sole owner of the the place so now I won't know what to call it.  Bonnie is there to get the exposition about how this means only Elena will be able to invite people in, helpfully keeping any unwanted vampires out.  The brothers are outside waiting for ownership to officially transfer.  They're chatting while they wait about various aspects of their very loosely defined "plan" for Bonnie to kill Klaus.  Damon seems sad at the prospect that Klaus may have already killed Katherine since disappearing with her in the last episode.  Damon should really see a professional about his issues.  The front door opens then and Elena thanks her lawyer and sends him on his way.  The brothers walk toward the front door and straight into the mystical barrier that keeps the undead out of our homes.  Elena kindly invites Stefan in and then makes Damon promise to "obey" the owner of the house or she won't let him in.  He "agrees" and she lets him in.  She and Bonnie then start to head out for school and the boys are all "Wha? We just gave you our house so you'd be locked up safe, why are you LEAVING?" She's like "blah blah normal life. And besides, powerful witch in all my classes." Stefan concedes reluctantly and goes with them.  Damon stays behind and rolls his pretty eyes.  

Sheriff's House of Lies and Betrayals.  Matt has stopped by for a flip out.  He's concerned that he can't keep up the charade and Liz is like "just shut up and do it."  He's worried that Caroline knows him too well to buy what he's selling but the Sheriff is all "dammit, Matt! Just do it!"  I see why she went into law enforcement and not motivational speaking.  She recaps what they know in case some members of the audience are new or slow.  It was worth it for Zach Roerig's delivery of "a werewolf" though.  That really amused me for some reason.  Anyway, Liz is having a flip out of her own about how there's no one in the town she can trust anymore.  Matt still isn't convinced he can fool Caroline into thinking he knows nothing.  He stands there a while thinking about it and being gorgeous.  

History class.  Alaric has done up the large cork boards at the back of his classroom to let us know that they're discussing the "1960's" and apparently the Vietnam war or so the posters of Army helicopters and fiery explosions would suggest.  Elena shows Stefan a flier for the "60's Decade Dance".  Then Kalaric arrives and does a bit of business asking the class what they're talking about today before writing "'The 60's'" on the board.  I know they have their hands full with, like, murderous fiends and whatnot, but would it kill them to teach proper punctuation at this school?  Anyway, there's a thing with Kalaric eyeballing Elena's doppelganginess and Elena calling him "Ric" and then being all "er, Mr. Saltzman" when everyone looks at her like she just farted in class.  And we cut to...

...that spot on campus where they're always painting the big signs for the Mystic Falls function of the week.  Caroline goes to greet Matt and gets made out with instead.  The scene has absolutely no purpose save to show him be pretty convincing as a loving boyfriend who isn't part of a plot to take her down in some potentially gruesome fashion.  I'll allow it because I'm in favor of anything that puts Matt and/or Caroline on my television.  

Back inside, Jeremy and Bonnie are having an argument about whether or not she can/should channel the dead witches to bring down Klaus and save Elena and, if she does plan to do such a life-threatening thing, whether Elena should know about it.  You're all smart enough to know who is in which camp on this argument.  Elena arrives then and does a bit of expository business about living arrangements (she's at the Salvatore house, Jenna is at school and Jeremy is at the Gilbert house with Uncle John).  He leaves in a sulk and Bonnie makes excuses in the vein of Jeremy being peeved he has to dress up to accompany her to the dance this evening.  Later, when we see what he wears, we'll retroactively believe that that actually was what the fight was about.  

Anyway, (Not Now) Dana stops by to tell Elena that a "totally hot" guy just asked her to ask Elena if she's going to the dance tonight.  Bonnie's like "uh, tell him she has a boyfriend" and Dana persists that Elena should at least meet him, his name is Klaus and he'll be at the dance that evening.  So, I guess I'll just assume that Kalaric compelled Dana to think she met a "totally hot" guy named Klaus who was not wearing the body of her history teacher?  Sure, why not.  The name Klaus twigs Bonnie and Elena and the soundtrack and all three go sort of "barely contained hysteria" on us as Dana gushes about Klaus's cuteness at wanting Elena to save him the last dance.  

Salvatore House of Gilbert Ownership.  Damon thinks they should all go to the dance, find Klaus and get the confronting over with.  Stefan disagrees on the grounds that they don't know who they're looking for then he takes a shot at the girls all "not as safe as you thought, huh?"  I love when Stefan gets bitchy.  Kalaric lets himself in then and apologizes for being late.  Damon tells Ric he needs to be added to the chaperon list at the dance.  If that doesn't get Alaric fired, nothing will.  Then they tip their whole hand to Klaus as Bonnie tells Kalaric and the bunch that the plan should be that they'll just find him and she'll kill him.  Bonnie demonstrates her badassery by flinging Damon across the room with her mind.  Kalaric looks on with interest.  Commercials. 

We're back at Alaric's apartment where Katherine has spent the day jabbing a knife into her knee under the watchful eye of Whitey the Warlock.  Kalaric is searching for an appropriate wardrobe choice for the dance and hatching a plan for taking down Bonnie.  I do enjoy a multi-tasker.  Kalaric is a little worried that Bonnie will render him vessel-less but Whitey lets Kalaric in on the thing about too much power killing witches so they decide that the right course of action is just to provoke her into over-dosing.  I'd just like it noted for the record that this whole thing of witches being felled by using "too much" power is super annoying.  That'd be like if vampires died from killing too many people or something.  Whatever, they whip up a little protection spell for Alaric's body (good on them) before Kalaric heads to the dance for some witch baiting.  
Caroline is at home putting the finishing touches on her Jackie Kennedy costume and sharing a nice moment with her mom when Matt arrives in his JFK duds to make me swoon.  He and Liz share a sad look. 

Elsewhere, Elena and Stefan are smooching and talking about ending Klaus.  Our lesson here is that even vampires with a hundred and sixty-plus years behind them can be totally naive.  

Decade Dance.  As Kalaric arrives, he passes an extra in a tie-dyed shirt having the most fun he's ever had in his entire life. It's awesome.  And contagious apparently, as Kalaric totally starts dancing his way through the boogeying students.  Matt Davis is unbelievably entertaining in this episode.  He finds Dana and her date and creepily offers them and their friends some extra credit for doing his bidding.  

Outside, Jeremy is trying to get Bonnie to wear his ring.  It would be cute if these two went steady!  Oh, no, sorry, not like that.  He wants her to wear the death-defying magic ring to keep her from suffering a supernatural death.  She says it won't work because she herself is supernatural...or something.  I'm not sure how she'd know that as nothing of the sort has ever been made clear before but if that's a rule they want us to know, fine.  Jeremy is upset and reminds her that he has a really sad track-record when it comes to girlfriends dying.  She insists she's strong enough.  Elena and her dates arrive then and everyone goes in to get the drama underway.  

Dana is inside, commandeering the mic to dedicate a song to Elena from Klaus.  Dana is a trouble maker.  Commercials.  

When we return, our gang is scanning the crowd trying to find Klaus.  Elena says she knows everyone there.  Damon thinks they should blend and wait for him to come to them.  Bonnie agrees and goes off to force Jeremy to dance.  Damon spots Ric and goes to ask him to dance.  Or possibly just to talk to him.  Kalaric's feelings are hurt when Damon notes that he isn't impressed by Klaus.  

Now for the partner swapping portion of the evening.  Elena is dancing with Stefan who needs to go let Caroline in on the Klaus happenings so he twirls her off to Damon.  Stefan cuts in on Matt who goes off to get some punch while Stefan tells Care to keep her eyes peeled for any strange happenings.  Damon then cuts in on Jeremy to dance with Bonnie and get to the bottom of her plan to die of a power overdose in the service of saving Elena from Klaus.  

Bonnie and Damon have insanely good chemistry.  They dance, they confer on the plan.  Damon would like to try and help her increase her odds of survival because despite his insistences to the contrary, he totally likes all of his friends. Elena finds Jeremy and can tell he's upset but he blows her off and pouts down the hall instead.  Emo Jeremy is back, ya'll.  Stefan finds him and insists they all stick together but Jeremy would rather tattle on Bonnie.  

Back in the dance, everyone is shaking their collective groove thing.  Matt and Caroline are beyond cute and Damon is getting down in a synchronized fashion with a couple of girls in bobbed wigs.  They should have way more school dances on this show. They're hilariously fun to watch.  Bonnie is enjoying the entertainment herself when Elena arrives to yell at her about her suicide savior plan.  Stefan then pulls Damon away from his dancing to do the same.  Fight, fight, fight.  I love how everyone on this show is willing to die to save their loved ones but then they get downright PISSED when their loved ones are willing to die to save them.  

Jeremy continues his tour de pout through the school when he runs into Dana's date and his meathead friends who set about beating Jeremy's ass.  Stefan and Damon come in for a rescue but Damon is shot in the shoulder with a stake by a meathead for his troubles.  Vamp super speed easily turns the tables on the meatheads and just before Damon kills one of them, Stefan's all "dude, no one is after Jeremy! This is obviously a distraction!"  So Damon runs off to find Elena and Bonnie who are presently being told by Kalaric that Klaus has Jeremy.  DUN! 

Kalaric tells the girls that he's Klaus and that he's not quite ready for Elena yet but he's in the market for some dead witch this evening.  Bonnie flings him to and fro.  "By all means, fire away.  Kill this body? I'll just get a new one," Kalaric tells her.  "Maybe Jeremy."  Off the girls run, right into Damon.  They give him the skinny on the Kalaric possession.  He's pretty calm about this news and sends Elena off to find Stefan before asking Bonnie if she can kill Kalaric.  He's obviously compartmentalizing now because he can't really be this chill about possibly killing his BFF.  Can he?  Bonnie tells him that killing Alaric isn't going to do any good because Klaus will just possess someone else anyway.  "He knows I have my power, Damon.  He's trying to kill me."  Damon is not having it.  "No, Klaus does not get to win tonight. No way."  Damon asks if Bonnie is still willing to do whatever it takes to bring Klaus down and she confirms she is albeit with a really frightened look in her eyes.  

Out in the dance, Elena searches frantically for Stefan.  Care sees her and asks if she's ok.  Matt comes over so Elena's like "oh, yeah, fine.  Just, uh...looking for Stefan," but she says it in that way they all do where the words are nonchalant but she she's lying so hard she cracks a rib.  Stefan catches her eye then and she runs off.  Matt wonders what the hell is up and Caroline, cracking a rib of her own, is like "oh, just, same old drama. Ha ha ha."  

Hallway of magical ass-kickery.  Bonnie sets about finding Kalaric with fierce determination.  She whips some hand-stabbing and bone breaking at him, flings papers around the room, sends sparks flying, bleeds from her nose, shorts out the soda and snack machines, and then drops dead in the middle of the room while Kalaric stands nearby and Elena and Stefan watch from outside the room. Elena and Stefan rush to her aid but it's too late.  Elena is beside herself.  Damon arrives and tells them to get out of there and he'll "deal with the body."  Elena is not a fan of that phrasing.  Elena begins to worry about telling Jeremy but Damon says he'll find Jeremy.  Stefan drags Elena out and then Damon gently closes Bonnie's eyes as we cut to commercial.  

When we return, Damon is loading Bonnie's body into his trunk when Jeremy runs up in a panic.  He got Damon's message but he can't find "anyone."  Damon tells him they need to have a talk.  

Gilbert's House of Salvatore Co-Habitation.  Elena is in front of the fire at the Salvatore house crying.  She tells Stefan that it's her fault but he insists it's Klaus who is to blame.  Damon comes home then. Elena yells at him for knowing what would happen to her and encouraging her to use the power anyway.  Then she slaps him.  Hard.  "You need to listen to me, and prepare for what I'm about to say," he tells her.  

House of The Dead Witches.  Jeremy has Bonnie laid out on the floor surrounded by lit candles.  

Damon tells Elena that Bonnie wasn't prepared for Klaus to be in Alaric's body and that he would never stop coming after her until he knew she was dead.  "He had to believe it," he tells her, just as Bonnie breathes back to life over at the House of The Dead (And Undead) Witches.  Jeremy goes to her and they hug dramatically.  Damon tells Elena that it was a spell, Bonnie is ok.  

Stefan thinks that Damon should have told him.  Damon says he didn't because Stefan has a hard time going through with risky plans especially if they require keeping a secret from Elena.  Damon says he doesn't mind making all of the life and death decisions and letting her hate him for it, "but at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive."  Also the one to get the moonstone stolen and make enemies of a pack of angry werewolves.  I'm just sayin'.  

Dead Witch Manor.  Jeremy does a short commercial for AT&T MiFi and then insists he's staying there with her for the foreseeable future.  Then he sets up a laptop for her to Skype with Elena.  Tears and apologies all around.  

Later, in Damon's room, Elena tells him she understands why he did what he did.  "Klaus is fooled and Bonnie's alive," she says.  But make no mistake, she will not allow Bonnie to die for her.  He hopes that another way can be found but he's doubtful.  "Let me be clear about something," Damon tells her.  "If it  comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die.  I will always. Choose. You."  Her face registers about 18 different emotions at that.  She bids him goodnight and then goes to the basement where she pulls the dagger from Elijah's chest.  Apparently, she'll find her own way to kill Klaus.  And Elijah.  This isn't going to end well for anyone.  Except the viewing audience - next week is Klaus and Elijah so we totally win.  


Mel said...

I hope Matt realizes just how fabulous Caroline is dead or alive. I need these two on my TV forever.

Melissa said...

Mel, your comment is perfection. I'm having it stenciled on my wall later.