Summer TV has become every bit as fun to watch as the standard fall-spring season and after the summer finale of Pretty Little Liars last night and bidding farewell to So You Think You Can Dance for the year on Thursday night and then the rest of my summer shows in the next few weeks, I've come to realize, I'm kind of going to miss these shows even when I'm busy watching all the other things I love the rest of the year.
White Collar welcomed guest star Hilarie Burton as a ball-busting insurance investigator who testified against Neil once upon a time and who'd still like to recover a Raphael painting he (allegedly!) stole. But that's all secondary to the case of the week which she's brought with her in the form of some prick who's stolen a bunch of Japanese bonds...and hired a hit man to off Sarah so that no one discovers he once killed a guy and stole his identity. This one was a doozy.
I really enjoyed Hil on the show and I hope we see her again. 'Round about the time she and Jake (JAKE!) got close on One Tree Hill's first season I developed a definite affection for Ms. Burton and despite how hard the writers tried to make me hate her by insisting on pairing Peyton up with Lucas, I continue to like her still.
Oh yeah, we also saw a bit of Matt Bomer tummy and a ridiculously bad green-screen shot of Tiffany (Amber) Theissen literally phoning it in from maternity leave as she stood in "San Francisco" and had a phone conversation with Peter. And Mozzy drank Neil nearly out of house and home.
Then Covert Affairs came on and things were ever so slightly less sub-par than last week. The Mystery Boyfriend appeared again and this time he killed some mean ol' terrorist that the CIA had to keep alive to keep from getting egg on their faces when the rest of the government and world found out that the former head of clandestine services totally set the terrorist up with a shitload of American guns and money. Annie really did a fat lot of nothing (again) and got a ton of credit for it. Oh, but Eric LaSalle showed up to play a former spy who left the agency high and dry when the terrorist killed his girlfriend and the CIA told him to suck it up.
Pretty Little Liars was the best thing that happened last night by far. The finale was so soapy and delicious.
It seems that A sent Emily's homophobic bitch of a mother a copy of those photo booth pictures of Em and Mya smooching and now Emily's mom is crazy nervous to let the two of them be near each other. Emily's dad came home and seems nice but Emily is way too nervous to tell him she's a big ol' lesbian. Poor Emily. I mean, coming out as a teenager must be tough enough but then to have the whole thing magnified by your parents either being gone to war or huge bitches and to have such really bad taste in girls yourself? Her life is a mess!
You know who else's life is a mess? Aria's. It seems Ezra Fitz wrote a poem about how much he loves her and A made sure she read it and in a fit of adolescent pique she ran to his classroom to tell him off about being too chicken to tell her he loved her to her face, and was so worked up she forgot to close the door behind her so her adorable new (age appropriate!) boyfriend kind of heard.
Melissa's first sister-kissing boyfriend, Ian, came back to town again and somehow that caused Melissa and Spencer to make up. The world continues not to give a shit about that family and their poorly acted problems.
Hannah's mom's money problems are much worse than she let on and it seems the house is being foreclosed but she's so horrified at her daughter trying to be responsible with money, that she insists Hannah take that hateful little bitch Mona out for lunch and drop a hundred bucks on it, and then she steals a bunch of cash from an old lady's safe deposit box.
Meanwhile, since Spencer's mom busted Detective Dumb Ass for being the worst cop in the world, the FBI has decided to take over the hunt for Allison's killer. They've uncovered a video of Allison talking to someone about how much that person wants to kiss her that she obviously made the night she disappeared and in the video she happens to be wearing Toby's sweater. Later, the FBI obtains a warrant (imagine that!) for the sweater and confirms that it has DNA from both Toby and Allison (in the form of blood I believe).
But none of that is quite as important as the fact that it's Mona's birthday and she's having the tackiest, most insanely expensive birthday party ever that includes massages, manicures, pedicures and "blow jobs" (that's hair styling made to sound dirty) in the woods. The cost of the generators alone has to be approximately that of Hannah's mom's mortgage payment for a month. Because she's awful, she's calling this "glamping."
The girls all come though Hannah has to hide out in the woods on her own because when she talked to the FBI instead of blowing $100 on Mona for lunch Mona went psycho and broke up with her. Also, A told Mona that Hannah had lypo and Hannah was so chill and awesome about that rumor spreading that I grew to love Hannah even more than I already did, which was a LOT!
Anyway, while in the woods, Emily is visited by Toby who says he's innocent and tells Em what went down last year - the tat refers to the day he told his step sister that incest was whack and she didn't take it well. Then Allison wanted to talk to him that night right outside of the barn or whatever the girls were hanging out in and it was cold so he gave her his sweater. Then he left and she was ALIVE. But Emily is all under Spencer's "Toby is A and he's the killer" thrall so she tells the others that he's behind the church and the cops nab him.
Then Aria meets up with Ezra Fitz in the woods and they steam up the windows of his car for a while but then A pops out of the woods to write "I SEE YOU" on the back window and she'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for Hannah being so freaking awesome.
At the same time, Spencer and Emily have discovered a tree where someone carved Allison + Ian - dun dun dun!
Then all the girls get a text from Hannah letting them know she's knows who A is and to meet her in the parking lot. As soon as they get there, A runs Hannah over in a car!!! I really hope Hannah isn't dead because I love her!
The last thing we see before hiatus is the part of the video the FBI didn't receive which is that Ian is the one that Allison was talking to right before she disappeared.
See you all in January (I think...I hope we don't have to wait any longer than that!).