May 14, 2010

They're Here For Their Looks

We knew the end was nigh and last night Supernatural gave us the final Lucifer/Michael showdown. It was...anticlimactic. An ok episode, I guess, but I kind of thought that Dean and Sam would fight each other in the ultimate showdown of good vs. evil.

Remember how they made that plan for Sam to let Luci have him but then to take back over control long enough to jump into the swirling vortex of doom that they were going to open up with the Horsemen's rings? Well as dumb as I thought that plan was, it turns out it was even dumber because not a single one of our heroes bothered to really figure out the specifics.

First of all, Dean goes WITH Sam to see Luci. Why? Since Michael grabbed another vessel doesn't that mean that Dean is fair game to, you know, KILL? At the very least, Satan could render him incapacitated so that he could not open his swirly vortex!

Anyway, they try to make a deal with Luci who's all "whatever, like I don't know you two morons have the rings. I know you won't win so let's go ahead and give it a whirl." Into Sammy's hugenormous body the devil goes. Upon waking up, he pretends to be a disoriented Sam. Dean buys it because he's exceedingly stupid. When has a demon ever entered a human body and the human was strong enough to keep control right from the get-go? And this isn't just a demon, it's Beelzebub! HELLO!

Dean whips the rings at the wall, spits some nonsense and opens his swirly vortex. Luci then closes the vortex, laughs in his face, takes the rings and vanishes.

So Dean calls Chuck - have I mentioned lately how much I love Chuck? - and asks where the shit is going down. Chuck gives him the showdown lowdown so Dean packs up his sidekicks and heads for a cemetery in Lawrence. Kripke clearly believes that Kansas is the seat of evil.

Dean would like a word with Sam but Michael and Lucifer have their own brotherly shit to work out so neither one is in any mood to let Dean and Sam have a moment. Fortunately, Cas knows how to put an angel in time-out so he tosses a Molotov cocktail of holy fire at Michael to get Dean the 5 minutes he needs.

Luci is one of those "no one picks on my little brother but me" types though, and he does not appreciate Cas's fire-bombing. So he snaps his fingers and Cas explodes. When Bobby tries to be helpful by...shooting Luci? Really, Bobby? You already know that's not going to work! It pretty much just irritates him as you'd expect, and with a wave of his hand, Bobby's neck is snapped. That's when I screamed out "NO!" and prepared to have a FIT if God didn't intervene and put everyone back exactly as they started.

Sidekicks disposed of, Luci turns his attention back to Dean and proceeds to pummel him into a swollen, bloody, pulp. That is until the Sammy inside him catches sight of the little army man he'd wedged into the Impala's ashtray as a kid and gets a flood of brotherly memories that make him strong enough to over-power Luci and take back control of his giant, spectacular body. He reaches into his pocket, tosses the rings on the ground, opens a swirling vortex and prepares to jump in. He bids a sad farewell to Dean and takes his sweet time because, Lord in Heaven, does no one in this show ever just do what needs to be done without pausing for dramatic flourish! That gives Michael time to show up and be all, "no Sam, it's my destiny to fight my brother to the death" so Sam is like "oh, alright, have it your way" so he grabs Michael by the wrist and plunges into hell with him.

Would that that were the dramatic end! Remember when Dean was dragged off to hell and it just ended there and we were left to wait and see how that would resolve itself? I'm calling those "the good old days."

Dean sits in the cemetery, mourning and bleeding, when Cas just zaps back into existence. Turns out God pasted him all back together (again), and gave him bright, shiny new wings (again). So he heals Dean's face and brings Bobby back to life (and that's why Cas is my new favorite character!) and then is off to Heaven to try and restore some order.

Bobby goes back to his life of hunting, and as he promised Sam he would, Dean goes to Bendy Yoga's house where he will have a beer and become a soccer dad and not try to bring Sam back. All the while, Chuck is narating the end to the story of the Winchester brothers. When he finishes, he simply, disappears from his chair.

The second best place to end the show right? Except they didn't do that either. No, instead, we see the new family hangin' in the dining room at Bendy Yoga's house. We pan out to the street and under a light as it flickers out, and there's Sam - standing in the street with a slightly sad, moderately bewildered and vaguely menacing look on his face - watching through the window. I'm sure that was supposed to be a DUN moment,

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