April 23, 2010

Ian Somerhalder Owes Me A New TV

Because his incredible hotness last night on The Vampire Diaries melted mine.

I'll hit the highlights of the plot quickly because then I'm going to have to give tons of praise to Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson for performing a television miracle and writing a love triangle that is awesome on every level.

The Founders continue to garner more attention than God this week with a Miss Mystic Falls Founders Day Pageant. Several girls have been nominated to the Miss Mystic Falls Court but the only ones we need to concern ourselves with are Elena (doing it because it was important to her dead mom), Caroline (doing it because she wants it bad, it's so Caroline), and Shy Girl (doing it because Stefan is going to need a snack later). I'll not keep you in suspense - Caroline wins, as well she should though I did not care for her dress. Unfortunately, she wins with a lame substitute date as Matt had to work (and by "work" I mean "avoid his girlfriend now that he has kind of allowed some awkward shit to surface with his ex-girlfriend who has much bigger things to worry about in her life than him").

Bonnie is back and she's blaming Stefan and Damon for the death of her Gram and since she wouldn't have done anything for Stefan and Damon if it weren't for Elena, she's blaming Elena by extension.
Stefan is still on the human blood and now, instead of trying to detox himself, he's indulging non-stop but trying to hide it from Damon and Elena. Damon wasn't born yesterday and when he gets wind that there's a massive amount of blood that's gone missing from the hospital lately, he calls his little brother on being a liar and a thief. Stefan has had a lifetime to perfect his holier than thou shtick when it comes to Damon tells Big D to get bent but Damon has an ace up his sleeve - he tattles on little brother to Elena.

She calls Stefan out at the pageant and tells him that she doesn't want him there if he's going to be all hopped up on people juice so he runs away and takes Shy Girl with him because he always feels peckish when he's pissed. He compels her to not be scared and then to let him bite her and then he thinks better of it and compels her to be scared and run away. But it turns out that when Stefan is on human blood he's, like, bi-polar, multiple-personality guy so no sooner does she scream and run off than he decides he'd like to finish eating her for dinner. A struggle in the woods ensues.

After Stefan ran out mid-dance/pageant - honest to God, haven't these people ever heard of Home Coming? Same basic principle but so much easier to describe - Damon steps in as Elena's escort. The two of them share a dance that...well all I can say is that when it was over, I had to light a cigarette and let me stress to you that all of that heat happened during a dance in which they barely ever touch each other! Anyway, once they've danced and Caroline has won, the Sheriff comes looking for Damon and tells him that Shy Girl is missing and there's blood and blah blah blah. So he and Elena spring into panicky, rescue Stefan mode.

That's when Damon, Elena and Bonnie stumble upon the situation. Damon startles Stefan into freeing Shy Girl, then Elena tries to talk sense into him even as he's covered in blood and sporting serious crazy eyes. That goes about as well as you'd expect so Bonnie whips out some witchy mojo and gives Stefan some kind of bad-dog-migraine with the power of her mind. Then she breaks up with Elena.

Meanwhile, Uncle Jon wants Damon to find a vamp named Pearl and ask her to give some doohicky she took from 1864 Jonathan Gilbert back. Damon plays dumb then tells Anna what's what. Anna lets Damon know that Pearl kicked all of the tomb vamps out of town except Harper because they really like it there and they're every bit as anxious to blend as he is. Then she tells her mom about the doohicky and Pearl gives it to Damon but none of them know what the fuck it is.

Jeremy knows everything from his stroll through Elena's diary (I know this show is called The Vampire Diaries so a diary is inevitable, but this is exactly why you shouldn't write shit down if you really want to keep it a secret) and armed with this new information, he and Anna continue to flirt. I really hope those two hook up. That's one twisted and perfect-for-each-other couple.

In the end, Stefan is contrite and apologetic to Elena who hugs him and loves him and stabs him in the back with a vervain dart. Awesome!

Ok, so here's where I say that I have seen many, many love triangles in my life and I've almost always hated them for the completely unnecessary drama. Even at their best I've had a STRONG preference for one of the competing paramours and borderline despised the other. But for the first time, I find that I love the triangle of Elena/Stefan/Damon and I have no preference for which Salvatore she chooses because she has unbelievably good chemistry with both and the story is clearly going to be amazing no matter what. Plec and Williamson have seriously out-done themselves with this show. It's perfect.

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