November 3, 2009

Caught On Tape

Last night some stuff happened on both Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. It's not that it was boring stuff, but I'm in a mood and I don't feel like going on about it all so I'm going to hit the highlights.

Gossip Girl:

Duff told a story on Jimmy Fallon that made Dan seem weird(er than he actually is) but it was totally nothing and then there was a one month anniversary thing that made me throw up in my mouth a little, before the writers stretched plausibility to it's limit and I had to scream at the television "oh yeah? And when the FUCK did that second trip to Fallon happen, HUH?"

Serena and Blair fought like children and used a drunken moron and a hooker as weapons until Chuck gave them a little talking to about growing up and not acting like they were at a clearance sale at an outlet mall - what he'd know about that last bit I can not fathom. They might have made up but who the hell can tell with those two.

Vanessa caught something on video that initially made Tripp look really good, then made him look really bad. Nate tried to help and made things worse. Then Grandfather got blamed but it wasn't his fault so he wouldn't fess up and then Nate saved the day by taking the bullet so Tripp could be the hero again and win the election, which totally would have happened anyway because speeches made 20 minutes before the polls close have no bearing on the outcome. Anyway, in the end it turned out to be Mrs. Tripp who was the diabolical bitch. Also, Tripp and Serena are friends now and I don't know how I feel about that.

None of that matters though because next week things get dirty. There is a threesome of some kind, and we revisit this:

One Tree Hill:

Nathan, Skills and Mouth have planned a "guys weekend" to take Jamie and that annoying little friend of his camping and Haley and Brooke force Julian to go too so he can have some male friends for once in his life. There is awkwardness and then Julian helps Jamie out and then Skills tells Julian that Nate and Brooke once made a sex tape and, in a truly fantastic line delivery by James Lafferty, Nate notes "I lost my virginity to my sister-in-law, you don't think that makes for some awkward family get-togethers?" He then mentions how that's not even the weirdest incestuous aspect of his family (and that's when I realized that he's slept with two of his sisters-in-law and his wife's best friend at one time or another, plus, his step-mom spent several episodes trying valiantly to get in his pants so Nate's got some shit happening in the awkward family get-togethers department!). Anyway, after a ridiculous number of movie quotes and several uncomfortable-under-the-circumstances gay jokes, they become friends.

Quinn makes pot brownies for Haley and Brooke so the two of them act all chatty and paranoid respectively and eat a lot. Then there was a psychic and a whole thing with a Ouija board and a bunny rabbit.

Clay stayed home to spend some (more) quality time with his dead wife. She told him to get to gettin' it on with Quinn, he sent Quinn packing then ran after her and finally told her about Jodi Sawyer and her extreme deadness and then they spent the night on the beach talking.

Rachel bought off the family of a comatose boy in Mexico to let Dan have his heart and now Dan is haunted by the boy so he wants to go back to Tree Hill. I can not explain the connection, so please do not ask.

What's important is that next week, this happens:

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