Twenty-Three

There are all these women in Hollywood who are quite a lot older than me, who look so ridiculously good that I feel particularly gray-haired, poorly-complected, fat and old looking for my comparatively youthful 33 years. Which is why it's kind of nice that Lindsay Lohan has taken it upon herself to walk around resembling 50 miles of HARD road so that I can feel particularly beautiful in comparison to this train wreck who's 10 years my junior.

Thanks, Linds!