The 2009 Emmy's - Fashion Review

The Emmy's happened last night.

Due to the fact that I strongly disagree with many of the nominations (who was nominated as well as who wasn't), I was filled to the brim with ambivalence for the awards last night. So in all honesty, I watched the 3 hour and 10 minute show in about 40 minutes thanks to the wonders of the DVR fast forward feature.

Here are my thoughts on fashion.

Purple, purple, purple.

Mary Louise Parker has great legs and I'm in favor of her showing them off and rocking a short cocktail frock but this one just doesn't do anything for me. It's both too much and not enough.

Ginnifer Goodwin's new pixie cut is fabulous (I'm a sucker for a pixie!) but her deep-V strapless purple dress is limp and boring and gives the illusion of being ill-fitting while also making her look wide-hipped which is far from the reality of her figure.

Padma Lakshmi's concoction is...well there is no way to really get the point across without being blunt so I'm just going to say it - her dress is ugly.

Lindsey Price's gown is a very good color for her, and the cut isn't terrible (though I am just about over the one-shoulder numbers after last night when every 3rd person wore one) but the draping isn't my favorite and I don't understand the black piece at all.

It wouldn't be a big awards show if there weren't a handful of people who came in flesh tones for maximum wash-out.

The gorgeous Kyra Sedgwick chose what kind of looked like a bridesmaid dress. A twee, ugly bridesmaid dress.

Drew Barrymore is a very theme-y dresser. When she was promoting Grey Gardens she made every appearance in old-Hollywood glamour styles. Since she's recently been stumping for her directorial debut, Whip It, everything has been '80s. I really liked the former but haven't cared at all for the latter so I was glad to see her dump the neon and spandex for something occasion appropriate at least. But the color is working against her and the fit is all wrong in the bust.

Elisabeth Moss looks quite beautiful from the waist up. The color is complementary to her skin tone, the cut of the bodice is flattering and the neckline is intricate and original. Her hair and makeup are absolutely perfect. Unfortunately everything below the waist is a wrinkled, hideous mess.

Red was pretty popular last night.

Poor Hayden Panettiere just does not know how to dress herself to her best effect. She is tiny and adorable with an enviable figure but somehow she always ends up looking like she borrowed something from her mom or her grandma.

I really hated Blake Lively's dress. I'm sick of seeing so much of her boobs anyway so this cut really irritated me and her hair was downright awful.

Debra Messing's red beaded shift was gorgeous and her hair, makeup and accessories were perfect.

I really liked the unusual cut of Jennifer Morrison's dress and if I knew where she lived (and we had the same size feet) I'd totally be breaking in and stealing those shoes.

Mila Kunis's burgundy frock was too much tulle for my taste. She still managed to look beautiful and her makeup was so fantastic with the color that I almost start to like the dress but then I take another look at all that tulle and I come back to my senses. Her shoes are awesome though.

Toni Colette's dress might have been red, or orange...it looked kind of bright salmony to me on the telecast. Whatever it was, the color fought with her hair a little and while the cut was nice up top, that's a lot of ruffles for a woman who isn't in her 20s.

Anna Torv's dress was also in the orange family and it was completely amazing. It fit her like a glove, the cut was stunning and I'm a sucker for beading. This was my favorite dress of the night. Unfortunately her hair is still long, boring and parted down the middle. This ain't the '70s Anna, LAYERS!

Jennifer Love Hewitt's dress was like a really boring Barbie outfit. No imagination, nothing interesting...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Speaking of yellow, Melora Hardin's dress starts out kind of nice at the top. I like the contrast of the light color with a simple neckline that gives way to intricate black beading but it's as if the designer got tired after the beading at the waist and just glued a bunch of tissue paper on it and called it a skirt.

Chloe Sevigny's polka dots are ok (not my favorite but not nearly as bad as some of the stuff she wears) but what I don't understand is why the fabric underneath has such a yellow tint to it. Why not white Chloe?

Patricia Arquette hates her breasts. How else do you explain the fact that all of her dresses mash, smoosh, mangle and otherwise torture the poor things?

Lisa Edelstein's dress looks like something a cater waitress at a particularly formal affair would wear. I will not even discuss what must have happened to her hair on the way over because obviously that's a tragedy that should not be mocked.

Even if Sarah Silverman's dress was supposed to be funny, it isn't and so it's an epic fail on any level.

January Jones looks great and her shoes certainly go with the bodice of her dress fantastically but that bodice is a little "body armor for a formal occasion" and the hip shelf kind of scares me.

Kristen Chenoweth (the only win I whole-heartedly agreed with), killed in the sparkly silver cocktail dress that showed her figure and her legs. I didn't love the sheer side panels or her hair and total lack of lip color or blush, but it's more win than lose on this one.

Kate Walsh is all lose. The color is boring and the cut is weird and awful. The draping on the skirt is a mess and I can't understand why it's got a waist if it is also empire. Droopy, sloppy, saggy and with a cut-out in the back...yuck!

Olivia Wilde wore mold to the event.

Kaley Cuoco's dress was pretty but I wish she'd worn her hair either up or back to show off her shoulders and neck a bit more.

One side of Christan Applegate's dress is awesome and the other side is kind of boring. It's a good color on her but I would have preferred a less asymmetrical cut. And, frankly, maybe not such a harsh black line around her eye. On a separate note, I hope they didn't let that chick behind her on the left into the theater in that romper. Ugh!

In the couples category, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett looked smashing in black and white.

And Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan were an absolute vision. I love the bold color of her dress against his classic tux.

Finally, Leighton Meester has been looking really tired lately. Several of the photos of her from Fashion Week last week gave the impression she was burning the candle at both ends and hadn't slept in a month. Perhaps that's why she wore a dress with built-in pillows on her shoulders...in case she nodded off during the ceremony. Of course, that doesn't explain the Wonder Woman bullet-deflecting bracelets but what can you do?