July 1, 2009

Tough Love Time

I've made plenty of remarks about Taylor Momsen and her excessive eye makeup and her unfortunate haircut and her inappropriate clothes in the past. But her problems are not improving and are, in fact, getting worse. Someone has got to lay it on the line for this girl.

Taylor, at not quite 16-years-old, you are not old enough to wear dresses this short, made of this much lace showing that much of your underwear to a room full of people standing BELOW you with a perfect view up your lady parts.

Even when you're out on the town you're wearing things that barely cover the bottom of your tush. I can clearly see that when you sit down, NONE of that fabric remains between your body and whatever your sitting on. You do not know what is on those surfaces my friend! And as long as we're on the subject of what's wrong with this "dress" I think I can see a sweat stain all the way across the center of that thing like it was stuck to you in the car on the way over. I don't think that would happen if you sat up straight.

And those shoes are AWFUL!

You're still wearing 300% too much eye liner which isn't making you look "punk" nearly as much as it's making you look "strung out." Your hair continues to be a problem. Its as if you pull it all up and get it looking really cute and then you look in the mirror and think "I look so adorable right now, but adorable is for losers" and then you mess it all the fuck up so that it still carries the faint memory of cuteness but with the day-old stench of fug smeared all over it.

And for the love of GOD girl, eat something before one of your collar bones puts someones eye out!

Do you really want to model yourself or your career after Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears and the rest of the hooha-flashing, drug-abusing, trampy, trashy, tabloid cases that started out over-sexualizing themselves in this manner at too young an age? Keep your girly-bits under cover, enjoy being pretty, and stop trying to look like Courtney Love circa "Doll Parts!" We've all seen how that turned out and I don't think anyone wants to see that shit happen again. You're a lipstick smear and a sex tape away from the wrong kind of fame sweetie, now pull it the eff together!

No comments: