I've been having a fling with The Food Network all summer. My regular network shows have been on hiatus and while I deeply love SYTYCD, I always know that its presence in my life is temporary. It comes in late in May, we share many meaningful moments for two months and then out it goes. Of course just as it bowed out, the Olympics and my newest crush (Michael Pehlps and the US Men's Swim Team) came into my life to steam up my TV screen. Those moments were simply fraught with emotion and meaning. But that was just a few hours each day for a week and the rest of the time was a lot of beach volleyball and track and field which I just can't make myself care about no matter how hard I try. The Food Network on the other hand, isn't much with the meaningful moments, it's mostly a lot of late-night booty calls but it gives me just what I need in the hot wasteland of summer TV - something just-this-side-of-tawdry-and-cheap to keep me occupied until vacations are over and real life starts back up.
Throwdown with Bobby Flay, Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, Ace of Cakes, Food Network Challenge (mostly the cake ones), Iron Chef America, and my newest discovery Dinner Impossible are perfect warm weather distractions.
Last night, new Dinner Impossible host and totally attractive bald man Michael Symon took on two challenges - first, he made a gourmet multi-course meal for 125 people in San Fransisco and then trucked it out to Alcatraz where he served it in the shower room; then he made "upscale Boardwalk food" for over 300 Boardwalk employees using only food that could be procured from the establishments residing on said boardwalk. That included an icee version of gazpacho with Vodka in it to prevent complete freezing, corn-dog style shrimp, and chocolate covered bacon.
Let me give you a minute to take that in. Chocolate. Covered. BACON.
Before you go thinking that it was candy that looked like bacon and was covered in chocolate let me assure you that it wasn't. It was actual bacon, cooked to crispiness in the oven, cooled and then covered in milk chocolate and topped with a light sprinkling of chopped nuts.
It actually didn't surprise me that much when he did it because the dude is OBSESSED with pork. Like, he looks for ways to incorporate as much pork as possible into every meal. I sort of can't wait to see what he does with bacon next, but I'm not sure I'll find out because the summer is ending and this fling can't really develop into anything serious. My regular shows are coming back from their vacations and there is a slate of hot new shows that are vying for my affections as well and I just can't let TFN and it's summery lite fare seduce me away from the soapy, dramatic, fictional lives I love.
Sorry Food Network, we can frolic and make out for another week but come September 1st, I'm packing up my beach blanket and my Chap Stick and leaving this culinary summer camp to focus all of my energies on the unrealistically gorgeous people who litter the networks most of the year.
We'll always have bacon...chocolate covered bacon.