April 17, 2008

No he isn't!

First a confession: I read TMZ.com every day. Several times a day. I love me some celebrity gossip and that's one of the ways I keep up on it but the site is the internet equivalent of a hypocritical asshole.

They trash talk paparazzi, though they would have nothing to post if not for paparazzi. They stir up "controversy" where none exists to gain extra fodder for their own blogging. They bitch endlessly about the Brothers Davis and the fact that they should not be "famous" though TMZ is pretty much the only place I read about that particular pair.

I could go on and on with examples of how they suck, but in a way, I'm no better than them because I think they suck but I still read their site. Which is why I usually keep both the fact that I partake of their content and my many beefs with said content to myself. However, occasionally they cross a line that I simply can't keep mum about.

That line is weight. They were among the first (if not the actual first) to post pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt frolicking in her bikini along with comments about her being fat. That was hardly the first time they'd done such a thing nor is it the last. Just today they put up a photo of professional douche bag Dane Cook once again frolicking in the surf in his swimwear (those are their favorites!). The caption implied (through phrases like "pregnant man" and "belly flop") that he was an extreme fatty.

There are many, many insults that I could levy at Mr. Cook - not funny, not attractive, not human - but I wouldn't call him fat. What I would say is that he's built roughly like the vast majority of men in the country which is to say his muscles are not well-defined and he's packing a bit of extra flesh around his midsection.

So from now on, every time TMZ calls someone fat who clearly isn't, I'll be putting up a post here at Phantom Rats to bitch about it. You all might want to brace yourself for a sudden uptick in postings.

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